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And some more...
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you.
-Warning on a packet containing the CycleAware helmet-mounted mirror.
Do not attempt to operate vehicle with sunshade in place.
-Warning on the back of a cardboard sunshade for car windscreens.
Warning - Remove Lock Before Driving.
-Printed in large bright letters on a manual lock for steering wheel and clutch petal, immobilising them both.
This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters. Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA.
-Warning with a juggling ball from Penguin Books.
This item is not to be used as a life preserver or swimming aid.
-Warning with an inflatable party saxophone.
Do not use as a life-saving device.
-Printed in small white letters on the bottom of a large promotional plastic bottle advertising Newcastle Brown Ale.
Houseplants are for ornamental use and should not be consumed.
-Sainsbury's supermarket, covering itself against all eventualities.
This camera only works when there is a film inside.
-It is so easy to overlook minor details when one is busy.
Do not touch this switch with wet hands.
Label on a hot-air hand-drier in a public toilet.
The hose should not be used for portable water.
-Label accompanying the Rehau "Green Lawn" hose. Leaves open to suggestion what liquid it is supposed to spray on the garden.
Protect from seawater.
-Warning printed on the Ultra Sonobuoy (equipment that picks up noise from beneath the ocean's surface and transmits a bearing to aircraft, allowing pilots to determine the position of submarines).
Do not allow this unit to be exposed to rain or moisture.
-A bit perplexing instructions for a Hinari steam iron.
Warning! Never iron clothes on the body!
-Instruction with a Rowenta iron.
Warning - The surface of this electrically heated towel rail can be hot.
-A red note on a 120-watt heated towel rail.
Never use the tool as a hair drier.
-Instructions with a hot-air paint stripper capable of blasting out air from its nozzle at up to 500 degrees C.
Flammable when lit.
-A word of caution accompanying a Christmas candle.
Do not use near the face.
-One of a great number of cautions written on a sticker covering a cigarette lighter.
Do not stop the chain with your hands.
-One of many warnings in a manual for a Swedish chainsaw.
Spray works in sub-zero temperatures.
-Written boldly across a bottle of windscreen de-icing spray.
May contain naturally occuring trace elements of lead, mercury and cadmium.
-Another fine example of playing it ultra-safe. A caution on the back of a packet of two extra-long-life batteries that are described proudly on the front as being free of lead, mercury and cadmium.
1. To insert, push stopper into drain opening. 2. To remove, pull stopper by ring.
-Instructions accompanying an Ace sink plug. How did any of us manage before companies thought of giving us advice like this?
Trombone and batteries not included.
-Statement on a box 30 centimetres long containing an electronic practice mute for trombones.
Contains only nonflammable gas.
-A reassuring label on the packaging of a fire extinguisher.
If used in excess of 24 hours per day, an additional hourly hire charge shall be applied.
-Proviso included in the equipment rental contract of a firm hiring out snorkelling gear on Rottnest Island, Western Australia.
Sow in late spring, but on no account until at least ten days after the last frost.
-Words of advice to the clairvoyant gardener on a packet of runner beans.
Written with scientific objectivity from the unbiased standpoint of a Protestant.
-Claim on the dust jacket of the book The Turin Shroud Is Genuine, by Rodney Hoare.
FULL LIFETIME WARRANTY: This shelf is guaranteed by the manufacturer against chipping, cracking or breaking when used according to instructions for the lifetime of the product.
-Careful wording on the blurb extolling the Superseal Microsure cooking shelf.
Power off before disconnecting connection connections.
-Sign on an electric till at a newsagents.
We apologise for the defective escalator. This is due to a defect.
-A sign spotted at Oxford Circus underground station.
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