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I was playing GURPS with some friends a little while back with my character a thief like fisherman called Dave. The party was walking through a forest trying to investigate the death of the local mayor when we started hearing voices. Me having the highest proficiency in this kind of situation (the other party members were a scribe, a blacksmith, and a priest) I crawled through the wood to a ledge, behind which was the origin of the voices. It sounded just like lots of people chatting, but I had a sneaky suspicion they were soldiers, and it sounded like there were a lot of them. I was busy trying to work out what they were saying when I failed one of the regular stealth rolls and broke a twig under me. Immediately there was the sound of swords being drawn and all talking stopped. I still didn't know if they were friendly (although I did have a horrible suspicion...) so I called out:
"Hello?" (What kind of thing ius this to say to a group of armed men! As the rest of the party were at pains to point out.)
Which was probably not a good idea. All they did was laugh nastily and come looking for me, so I got up and ran.
The whole party got onto our horses and started riding down the track when this group of soldiers came up the other way. They started firing arrows at us and I was the only one hit (this proved to be setting a rather worrying precedent for the adventure). I fell of my horse, which ran away. The other guys carried on until they were out of range! Bastards!!! The leader of the soldiers proceeded to walk up and start kicking me as I was lying on the floor trying to pull an arrow out of my hand. After being kicked in a place I would rather not mention 3 times I managed to stand up (finally passed the roll required, despite having a ridiculously high dex I managed to fail it repeatedly). I was sooo pissed off with these guys by now that the following conversation took place:
Me: Alright then! I punch the leader!
DM (a kindly soul at heart...): You see 50 armed men behind the leader.
Me: OK! I run away!
DM: Take a dex roll then, you are being kicked after all.
(Promptly fail roll and fall over again)
DM: Well the man keeps kicking you then.
Me: Damn! Ok then, I try and get up!
DM: Well take the roll for it...
(Fail roll again)
DM: The man keeps kicking you, it really does hurt quite badly now.
Me: I know that you fool! But I can't do anything about it if I can't get up off the ******* floor can I!
DM: Oh dear! It looks like he is trying to kick you in the face now...
Me: Ok ok! I'm sorry I didn't mean that! Guys, help...
At this point the other party members stopped laughing long enough to try and work out what to do. The only one with enough courage to go in and help was the blacksmith, who had the lowest intelligence, charisma, and dexterity. He proceeded to ride in (without any horse riding proficiencies, which I had...) avoid all the arrows (with a dex about half of mine...) pick me up and put me on the horse (and avoid being kicked/pummelled by the large man...) and ride away once again avoiding the arrows.
AAAAAARGGHHH!!!!! Why me!
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