[Cerek the Barbaric]

As long as we're doing "groaners", I may as well add my own.
Fair Warning: Its just as bad as the other two.


Bad luck had followed Howard throughout his life. He decided to take a walk in the desert one day to contemplate his lot in life. His bad luck remained true to form and he became hopelessly lost. He wandered for days, trying to find his way back, but to no avail. As he was wandering around, he suddenly came upon a huge Lever sticking out of the ground. He stared at it for a long time, trying to determine if it was real, or a mirage. It certainly felt solid enough when he touched it. Finally, figuring he had nothing to lose, he started to pull on it to see what would happen.

"WHOA..WHOA...WHOA....What do you think you're DOING?" said a voice from behind him. Howard turned around to see a snake raised up and looking him in the eye.

"Get your hand off that Lever right now!!!" said the snake. Howard was too shocked to do anything. Instead, he just stared at the snake.
"What does this Lever do?" he finally asked.
"That Lever is connected to a keystone located on the continental plate. You move it even an inch, and the entire North American continent will be split into several pieces. This will trigger a chain reaction of disasters that will eventually destroy ALL the continents and end life as we know it".
"OH....uh..sorry" said Howard, as he carefully took his hands off the Lever.
"Whew, that was close", said the snake. "By the way, my name's Nate. What's yours...and what are you doing out here?"
Howard told his story to Nate.
"I can help you get back to civilization," said Nate...and the two set off.
As they traveled they discussed the Lever. They agreed that people would probably pay money to see it, so they made plans to turn it into a tourist attraction.
Howard got a loan from the bank, built a road to the Lever, and set up a toll booth. Nate acted as the tour guide. Their venture became a smashing success and they both became rich.
Then one day, Bad Luck reared its head again.
Howard got to work a little late to discover several ambulances and emergency vehicles blocking the road. He quickly ran to the nearest ambulance to ask what happened.
"I'm afraid there's been a bad accident. Nate was run over by a car."
Howard was devastated. A policeman came up to him and said that the driver of the car wanted to talk to him. Howard agreed and the fellow approached him.
"I'm so sorry about your friend", said the man.
"What happened?" asked Howard.
"Well, I was driving towards the Lever when the sun got in my eyes. I got my visor down just in time to see that I had run off the road and was headed straight towards your friend. When I swerved to miss him, I was headed for the Lever, I swerved back and was headed for Nate again. I did my best to avoid an accident, but I realized that I was going to hit one or the other." The man said.
"So, in the end, I decided it was better Nate than Lever"

[ 02-13-2002: Message edited by: Cerek the Barbaric ]