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Hillbilly Medical Terms
*Benign.................What you be after you be eight.
*Bacteria...............Back door to cafeteria.
*Barium.................What you do with dead folks.
*Cesarean Section.......A neighborhood in Rome.
*Catscan................Searching for the cat.
*Cauterize...........Made eye contact with her.
*Colic...............A sheep dog.
*Coma................A punctuation mark.
*D&C.................Where Washington is.
*Dilate..............To live longer than your kids do.
*Enema..............Not a friend.
*Fester.............Quicker than someone else.
*Fibula.............A small lie.
*G.I.Series.........World Series of military baseball.
*Hangnail...........What you hang your coat on.
*Impotent............Distinguished, well known.
*Labor Pain..........Getting hurt at work.
*Morbid..............A higher offer than I bid.
*Nitrates............Cheaper than day rates.
*Medical Staff.......A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake.
*Node.....................I knew it.
*Outpatient...............A person who has fainted.
*Pap Smear................A fatherhood test.
*Pelvis...................Second cousin to Elvis.
*Post Operative...........A letter carrier.
*Recovery Room....Place to do upholstery.
*Secretion........Hiding something
*Tablet...........A small table to change babies on.
*Seizure..........Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section.
*Terminal Illness....Getting sick at the train station.
*Tumor...............More than one.
*Urine...............Opposite of mine.
*Varicose............Near by
*Hospital............The biggest building in town, other than Joe's feed warehouse or Franks lumber mill.
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"Nature tells every secret once." Ralph Waldo Emerson
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