[J.J.]

Perfect Fit:

Lazy, rude, disorganized consultative sales rep needed to harass customers and drive new business away. Must prefer golf, hunting, or fishing to a high 5 figure income. Creativity and sense of humor required today. Fax your credentials today:
Attention Bob Holloway, toll free 877 459 5102


This is what I was compelled to write and send back, gawd it felt good to write something like this, to date, no response (sent fri jan 5, 02)


Joseph J. Aberle
1707A Montana Ave.
Black Eagle, MT. 59414
406 727 5929


Dear Mr. Bob Holloway;

The ad left me no choice in assembling this representation of an authentic resume for your consideration, otherwise I probably would have put it off like the last time I noticed it, but anyone who can make me laugh twice at the same thing deserves a reply. As Jeff Foxworthy says "Sinchewas" looking for a sales rep, that is what comes next.

January 2001 - still there.
Phone sales, telemarketing at it's finest; closing initial sales calls by obtaining verifiable payment for the stuff the first person did not make them try to pay for. If you do this, please do not bother
me with a reply, as I already work at the best place to do this sort of thing, sad to say.

November 1998-2000.
Taking calls from people discovering they had been billed for something after the trial period ended with a $60 suprise! credit card statement. Reminding these people who thought they were going to get $20 worth of gas for only one dollar when they first signed up to actually use the travel membership they just bought was excruciating at times, in both good and bad ways. If you do this, forget you ever heard of me, because I would rather go back to selling used cars than do this again, and that says alot. Which reminds me...

March 1998-November 1998
Selling cars, both new and used, for a large, multi-lined dealership was an experience and education that I am thankful I had, and even more thankful that I do not do now. The unreliability of the income's regularity, and it's sometimes unrelatedness to production are large risks to take.

February 1995-1998
Selling advertising for a statewide monthly trade publication meant meeting with business owners and managers, who have been among the best customers I have ever dealt with. I traveled extensively, setting my own schedule, deciding who I would visit, who I would just call that time, and who I would pass up in favor of scoping out a possible new account. I enjoyed putting together dealer ads for guys who were too small to do anything on their own, and helping out with their coop ad dollar by creating something from where everyone said there was nothing. Trade shows, fairs, seasonally oriented customers, products, and ad needs added alot of fun also.

Other things not sales related, like college degree and military service? - Like milk; got it. Hope that liking golf isn't too high of a priority, but I can spend as much time floating and fishing as you do golfing and fishing, if that helps.

That leaves the ball in your court, tag! you're it, rsvp me, etc.

JJ Aberle