[John D Harris]

An old man and his wife have gone to bed.
After laying there a few minutes
the old man farts and says, "Seven Points."
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the
world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football."
A few minutes later the wife lets one go and
says, "Touchdown, tie score."
After about five minutes the old man farts
again and says, Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7."
Not to be out done the wife rips another one
and says, "Touchdown, tie score."
Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker
and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14."
Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to
get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail.
Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable
he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed.
The wife looks and says, "What the hell was that?"
The old man replied, "Half-time," switch sides.