[Melusine]

It would be good if you edited this one more time to take out the spelling mistakes (they increase in frequency near the end) and revise your punctuation (at some points, it would be better to have a period where you have a comma). If you want, I'd be willing to do it for you (just PM/email me or reply here). Your phonetic rendering of Andy's accent is done very well though. Though slightly too moralistic for my taste, I am truly impressed with this story - for someone your age especially, it is VERY well-written! My compliments! [img]smile.gif[/img]