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nothing I do seem to be able to put her off my mind. nothing, I've tried music, sport, movies, good food, hang out with friends and games. nothing seem to work. whenever I think abt her, the hurt feelings come back
only if she can just send me an email, just as short as "hello, I am fine here, I miss you." or maybe log on for 5 mins to say hi... how much I'd love her gift, even if it is the smallest thing in the world, or send me a card... dont friends do that to each other?
I have a jade necklace, it is a safe charm thing, sort of like animal totem. I've been wearing it for 4 years. and I am kinda supersitious guy. I had a hoby of putting my hands in my collar and feel the smoothness of the jade.
she is not a good driver. I gave the jade to her. whenever I put my hand in my collar, out of habbit, I no longer feel the jade. it is like a part of me is missing. I'd tell myself that it is there to keep her safe, to keep her out of harm, but not out of her pain and frustrations
she is blind, blinded by her own pains and hurt. I guess that means I should forgive her. but what of my own pains and hurt?
I want to sleep, maybe that will stop the cozzy feelings in my chest. even cry doesnt help this time, it just wont go away.
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