Ironworks Gaming Forum - View Single Post - Life Changes... (caution: may be more than you want to know)

NachtBringer · 11-05-2001, 01:44 PM

quote:
Originally posted by bilqis:
Hello all. I am in the midst of huge life changes that I thought I'd share with you all. If you're not interested, you may leave now.

July 17th, at 7:30 a.m. my husband of 21 years called me while he was away on vacation to tell me he wanted to divorce me. I admit that our marriage wasn't perfect, but this shocked me to my very core. I shook most of that day, but immediately called a good lawyer and began the process. The pain & grief were incredible. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, ever.

Because we have minor children, if either of us had moved out of the house before the offical request for marital dissolution was in place, we would have lost all our rights to custody etc. So, we have continued to live together. Not the most comfortable of situations, but we've managed to be civil and even friendly during these months.

I found a house to buy, signed a purchase agreement, intending to move in November 15th. However, it has taken this long for the divorce to be finalized --- still waiting for the judge's signature on the final papers --- so the house purchase was being delayed. Also need ex-dh to finish re-financing this house, and get the process going for giving me 1/2 of his pension so I can get on with my life. All of this is taking FOREVER and making me quite frustrated. I want to move ON!

And I AM moving on. [img]smile.gif[/img] I finally realized that I don't have to continue to live here in the middle-of-nowhere-Minnesota! I was only living here because of my husband's job & security. Those are no longer factors in my life. SO, I have quit my job, and battled all my local friends about my decision to move to Seattle Washington on November 10th. They are all convinced that I've lost my mind --- which I assure everyone I have not (not that I ever 'had' it to lose ). I have rented a house, and am certain I will find a job in short order. I am very excited! Very happy!

One other big change in my life began the end of July, when my dear big brother, The.Relic, dragged me into an online space simulation gaming community, called "Mankind", telling me I needed something to distract me from my misery. He was correct -- that game was wonderfully engaging. Through him I met many nice people (all men -- apparently not many women are into space simulations). One man in particular, nickname "Krip, the artisan", was very open about his interest in me. Something I couldn't believe or trust for a long time. After all, I'm old, I look like someone's mom not like someone's 'date', and men have never been interested in me as anything more than friend or sister. Also, all of my friends were continually advising me to avoid romantic entanglements til I am 'healed', watch out for 'rebound', etc. Krip was very persistent tho, and finally, after weeks & months of me fighting my feelings, he won me over. We met face to face the end of October, which proved to be even better than online. So, he is why I chose Seattle over some other city to make my leap into a new life to.

I need to thank everyone who has been so supportive of me during this tumultuous time in my life --- The.Relic, Reeka, Ramon, LadyZ, Moiraine, Wolfgir, Sir_Tainly, Jerome, AzureWolf, Cloudy, Yorick... gosh I apologize if I forgot to mention someone! I love you all!! I would not have made it through everything without your support. I will continue to lurk, and will post when I can. Once I move I won't have internet for some weeks. I am not leaving permanently tho. The great thing about the internet is that I can bring all of my online friends with me, no matter where I go!!

Who would have believed my life could change so much in just 6 months?? Certainly not me. Just goes to show, you never know what's just around the corner....

(More than anyone wanted to know, I'm sure, but they say confession is good for the soul) [img]redface.gif[/img]

Bili- I wish you all the best! I was worried, true, but I always saw that inner strength you carry around and you sure know how to pull yourself up and move on!!! God Bless you as you make this jump to a new life. [img]smile.gif[/img] You know, 4 mos ago my life was pretty mundane in my little corner of upstate NY and here I am in Idaho...thanks to you for your advice and encouragement as well. May we both find lasting happiness.

Cloudy

11-05-2001, 01:44 PM	#25
NachtBringer Elite Waterdeep Guard Join Date: November 3, 2001 Location: In a hotel somewhere in Spud Country Posts: 12	quote: Originally posted by bilqis: Hello all. I am in the midst of huge life changes that I thought I'd share with you all. If you're not interested, you may leave now. July 17th, at 7:30 a.m. my husband of 21 years called me while he was away on vacation to tell me he wanted to divorce me. I admit that our marriage wasn't perfect, but this shocked me to my very core. I shook most of that day, but immediately called a good lawyer and began the process. The pain & grief were incredible. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, ever. Because we have minor children, if either of us had moved out of the house before the offical request for marital dissolution was in place, we would have lost all our rights to custody etc. So, we have continued to live together. Not the most comfortable of situations, but we've managed to be civil and even friendly during these months. I found a house to buy, signed a purchase agreement, intending to move in November 15th. However, it has taken this long for the divorce to be finalized --- still waiting for the judge's signature on the final papers --- so the house purchase was being delayed. Also need ex-dh to finish re-financing this house, and get the process going for giving me 1/2 of his pension so I can get on with my life. All of this is taking FOREVER and making me quite frustrated. I want to move ON! And I AM moving on. [img]smile.gif[/img] I finally realized that I don't have to continue to live here in the middle-of-nowhere-Minnesota! I was only living here because of my husband's job & security. Those are no longer factors in my life. SO, I have quit my job, and battled all my local friends about my decision to move to Seattle Washington on November 10th. They are all convinced that I've lost my mind --- which I assure everyone I have not (not that I ever 'had' it to lose ). I have rented a house, and am certain I will find a job in short order. I am very excited! Very happy! One other big change in my life began the end of July, when my dear big brother, The.Relic, dragged me into an online space simulation gaming community, called "Mankind", telling me I needed something to distract me from my misery. He was correct -- that game was wonderfully engaging. Through him I met many nice people (all men -- apparently not many women are into space simulations). One man in particular, nickname "Krip, the artisan", was very open about his interest in me. Something I couldn't believe or trust for a long time. After all, I'm old, I look like someone's mom not like someone's 'date', and men have never been interested in me as anything more than friend or sister. Also, all of my friends were continually advising me to avoid romantic entanglements til I am 'healed', watch out for 'rebound', etc. Krip was very persistent tho, and finally, after weeks & months of me fighting my feelings, he won me over. We met face to face the end of October, which proved to be even better than online. So, he is why I chose Seattle over some other city to make my leap into a new life to. I need to thank everyone who has been so supportive of me during this tumultuous time in my life --- The.Relic, Reeka, Ramon, LadyZ, Moiraine, Wolfgir, Sir_Tainly, Jerome, AzureWolf, Cloudy, Yorick... gosh I apologize if I forgot to mention someone! I love you all!! I would not have made it through everything without your support. I will continue to lurk, and will post when I can. Once I move I won't have internet for some weeks. I am not leaving permanently tho. The great thing about the internet is that I can bring all of my online friends with me, no matter where I go!! Who would have believed my life could change so much in just 6 months?? Certainly not me. Just goes to show, you never know what's just around the corner.... (More than anyone wanted to know, I'm sure, but they say confession is good for the soul) [img]redface.gif[/img] Bili- I wish you all the best! I was worried, true, but I always saw that inner strength you carry around and you sure know how to pull yourself up and move on!!! God Bless you as you make this jump to a new life. [img]smile.gif[/img] You know, 4 mos ago my life was pretty mundane in my little corner of upstate NY and here I am in Idaho...thanks to you for your advice and encouragement as well. May we both find lasting happiness. Cloudy