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The Secrets of the Language of Women: Keywords and
their meaning.
1. Fine:
This is the word we use at the end of any argument
that we feel we are right about but need to shut you
up. NEVER use fine to describe how woman looks. This
will cause you to have one of those arguments.
2. Five minutes:
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your football game is going to last
before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an
even trade.
3. Nothing:
This means something and you should be on your toes.
"Nothing" is usually used to describe the
feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside
out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually
signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes"
and end with the word "Fine."
4. Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows):
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman
getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the
word "Fine."
5. Go Ahead (normal eyebrows):
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because
I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go
Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by
"Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in
about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
6. Loud Sigh:
This is not actually a word, but is still often a
verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud
Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that
moment
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here
and arguing with you over "Nothing."
7. Soft Sigh:
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft
Sighs" are one of the few things that some men
actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is
to not move or breathe and she will stay content.
8. Oh:
This word followed by any statement is trouble.
Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to
him about what you were doing last night." If she
says
"Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the
nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine"
when she is done tossing your clothes out the window,
but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2
days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually
signifies
that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more
to
get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go
ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't
bring myself to write about them.
9. That's Okay:
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a
woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she
wants to think long and hard before paying you
retributions for what ever it is that you have done.
"That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and
used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead."
At some point in the near future when she has plotted
and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big
trouble.
10. Please Do:
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is
giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse
or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you
have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth,
so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."
11. Thanks:
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say
you're welcome.
12. Thanks A Lot:
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will
say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at
you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some
callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh."
Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud
Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."
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