i don't think I'm going to say overly much here.... i'm usually VERY good at advice of this sort, but i'm having a hard time figuring out just what she's saying. I'll give what it seems like to me, though, Leo you'll know if i'm right or not and whether to ignore what I say
I'll say now that I feel for you man, and wish you the best.
It kind of seems like she's saying you're a little obsessed with being too caring and with not making her mad. The whole 'obsessed with what you have done'...is she talking about you being concerned because she feels you are overly concerned and/or protective of her? and then bringing that fact up to her and trying to talk it out? If that's the case, the best thing I can tel you is that sometimes girls just get emotionally loaded up, and they need to vent it somewhere, and it often falls on those they care most about, especially if there's a distance thing going on. They get upset about the distance and the only place to channel the anger is onto the person who is distant. If this is the case, just don't worry about defending yourself, just tell her you understand her feelings, and feel them somewhat yourself, and you too wish things were different. Stay calm about it. she knows you're not really to blame. but trying to clear yourself in the matter will only stir her up more. So just be understanding and comforting when she talks to you about it, and don't dwell on it. Again this is only if I read the problem right. She might have some other stress going on, and trust me in the end it winds up in the same place as distance stress, and will wind up on your shoulders. Hopefully she can see that you're not really deserving of this anger, and if you are just understanding instead of getting defensive over it, she should be able to get over it.
All this is just based on personal experience, and I might have read the whole issue wrong, I'm just giving my thoughts if that is indeed the case.
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"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans." - Lennon