These are quotations of inspiration, humor, and wisdom from the ladies of the world. Read, and enjoy!
Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened.
-Cora Harvey Armstrong-
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The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
Helen Hayes (at 73)
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Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
-Jan King-
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A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. The
dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling "Hey,
come back here with my breast!"
-Linda Ellerbee-
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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
-Lily Tomlin-
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You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman?
It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears.
-Geri Jewell-
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A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
-Carrie Snow-
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Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
-Laurie Kuslansky-
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck-
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Old age ain't no place for sissies.
-Bette Davis-
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A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
-Rhonda Hansome-
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The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
-Jane Sellman-
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Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited-
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Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half
as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
-Charlotte Whitton-
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Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts
falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen-
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I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited-
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If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a
horrible warning.
-Catherine Aird-
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When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!
-Kathy Buckley-
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I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb
...and I'm also not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-
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You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart
woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong-
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If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-
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I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-
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I think---therefore I'm single.
-Lizz Winstead-
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When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another
country.
-Elayne Boosler-
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Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson
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In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man--if you want anything done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher-
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I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
-Gloria Steinem-
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I never married, because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night.
-Marie Corelli-
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If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?
-Linda Ellerbee-
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I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-
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Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Cheers,
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Patience, my BUTT...I'm going to KILL something!!!