ROFLMAO!!!!!
Along similiar lines.
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HOW TO TAKE A SHOWER
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
1. Take of all clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure its clean.
7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with Natural Avocado Oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
8. Wash your face with Crushed Apricot Facial Scrub for ten minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair(you must make sure that it has all come off).
11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decided to get it waxed instead.
12. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose water pressure.
13. Turn off the shower.
14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
15. Get out of the shower. Dry with towel the size of small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Tweeze hairs.
17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. I you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
18. Spend an hour and a half getting dressed.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. Leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake Mr Happy at her while making the 'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Suck in your gut, and check to see is you have pecs(no). Admire the size of Mr Happy in the mirror and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Don’t bother to look for a washcloth, you wont use it anyway.
6. Wash your face.
7. Wash your armpits.
8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water rinse it off.
9. Crack up at how loud your farts sound in the shower.
10. Spend the majority of your time washing Mr Happy and his two buddies.
11. Wash your butt, leaving coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.
12. Shampoo your hair. Conditioner?? HAH!
13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
14. Peek out of shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror again.
15. Pee...in the shower.
16. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
17. Partially dry off.
18. Look at yourself in the mirror. Flex Muscles. Admire the size of My Happy again.
19. leave shower curtain open, and wet bath mat on the floor.
20. Leave bathroom light and fan on.
21. Return to the bedroom with wet towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake Mr Happy at her, and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
22. Throw the wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.
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"In Memorium of those who are gone, and all those that bought our freedom with their hearts blood!"
"May the Colors of Liberty never run"
