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Old 10-13-2001, 06:38 AM   #41
skywalker
Banned User
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: VT, USA
Age: 64
Posts: 3,097
Ok Davros, you asked for it ! :


Swamp Castle

FATHER: One day, lad, all this will be yours!


PRINCE HERBERT: What, the curtains?


FATHER: No. Not the curtains, lad. All that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be your kingdom, lad.


HERBERT: But Mother--


FATHER: Father, lad. Father.


HERBERT: B-- b-- but Father, I don't want any of that.


FATHER: Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands.


HERBERT: But I don't want any of that. I'd rather--


FATHER: Rather what?!


HERBERT: I'd rather...


[music]


...just... sing!


FATHER: Stop that! Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here. Now listen, lad. In twenty minutes, you're getting married to a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain.


HERBERT: B-- but I don't want land.


FATHER: Listen, Alice,--


HERBERT: Herbert.


FATHER: 'Erbert. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get.


HERBERT: But-- but I don't like her.


FATHER: Don't like her?! What's wrong with her?! She's beautiful. She's rich. She's got huge... tracts o' land!


HERBERT: I know, but I want the-- the girl that I marry to have...


[music]


...a certain,... special... something!


FATHER: Cut that out! Cut that out! Look, you're marrying Princess Lucky, so you'd better get used to the idea!


[smack]


Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him.


GUARD #1: Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.


GUARD #2: Hic!


FATHER: No, no. Until I come and get him.


GUARD #1: Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room.


FATHER: No, no. No. You stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave.


GUARD #1: And you'll come and get him.


GUARD #2: Hic!


FATHER: Right.


GUARD #1: We don't need to do anything apart from just stop him entering the room.


FATHER: No, no. Leaving the room.


GUARD #1: Leaving the room. Yes.


[sniff]


FATHER: All right?


GUARD #1: Right.


GUARD #2: Hic!


FATHER: Right.


GUARD #1: Oh, if-- if-- if, uhh-- if-- if-- w-- ehh-- i-- if-- if we--


FATHER: Yes? What is it?


GUARD #1: Oh, i-- if-- i-- oh--


FATHER: Look, it's quite simple.


GUARD #1: Uh...


FATHER: You just stay here and make sure 'e doesn't leave the room. All right?


GUARD #2: Hic!


FATHER: Right.


GUARD #1: Oh, I remember. Uhh, can he leave the room with us?


FATHER: N-- no, no. No. You just keep him in here and make sure he--


GUARD #1: Oh, yes. We'll keep him in here, obviously, but if he had to leave and we were with him--


FATHER: No, no, no, no. Just keep him in here--


GUARD #1: Until you or anyone else--


FATHER: No, not anyone else. Just me.


GUARD #1: Just you.


GUARD #2: Hic!


FATHER: Get back.


GUARD #1: Get back.


FATHER: All right?


GUARD #1: Right. We'll stay here until you get back.


GUARD #2: Hic!


FATHER: And, uh, make sure he doesn't leave.


GUARD #1: What?


FATHER: Make sure 'e doesn't leave.


GUARD #1: The Prince?


FATHER: Yes. Make sure 'e doesn't leave.


GUARD #1: Oh, yes, of course.


GUARD #2: Hic!


GUARD #1: Ah. I thought you meant him. You know, it seemed a bit daft me havin' to guard him when he's a guard.


FATHER: Is that clear?


GUARD #2: Hic!


GUARD #1: Oh, quite clear. No problems.


FATHER: Right. Where are you going?


GUARD #1: We're coming with you.


FATHER: No, no. I want you to stay here and make sure 'e doesn't leave.


GUARD #1: Oh, I see. Right.


HERBERT: But Father!


FATHER: Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on!


[music]


And no singing!


GUARD #2: Hic!


FATHER: Oh, go and get a glass of water.


[clank]


[scribble scribble scribble fold fold]


[twong]


Mark
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