From The Washington Times, written by the editor, Wesley Pruden, Pruden on Politics,” October 2, 2001
A solution to the problem of Islamic Terrorists developed
by the Army: General John “Black Jack” Pershing - USMA class of '86 (that's
1886)
HOW TO STOP ISLAMIC TERRORISTS ... it worked once in our History...
Once in U.S. history an episode of Islamic terrorism was very quickly
stopped. It happened in the Philippines about 1911, when Gen. John J.
Pershing was in command of the garrison. There had been numerous Islamic
terrorist attacks, so “Black Jack” told his boys to catch the perps and
teach them a lesson.
Forced to dig their own graves, the terrorists were all tied to posts,
execution style. The U.S. soldiers then brought in pigs and slaughtered them,
rubbing their bullets in the blood and fat. Thus, the terrorists were the
ones terrorized; they saw that they would be contaminated with hogs' blood.
This would mean that they could not enter Heaven, even if they died as
terrorist martyrs. All but one was shot, their bodies dumped into the
grave, and the hog guts dumped atop the bodies.
The lone survivor was allowed to escape back to the terrorist camp and tell
his brethren what happened to the others. This brought a stop to terrorism in
the Philippines for the next 50 years.
Pointing a gun into the face of Islamic terrorists won't make them flinch.
They welcome the chance to die for Allah. Like Gen. Pershing, we must show
them that they won't get to Muslim heaven (which they believe has an end-less
supply of virgins) but instead will die with the hated pigs of the devil.
A thought... Rather than arm airline pilots, why not put pigs in the cargo
holds of aircraft and prominently post the fact. No, Moslem worth his salt
would want to die in a crash with a pig! The Koran forbids any contact with
the animal on pain of eternal punishment.
(Or try buying a seat for your pet pot-bellied pig the next time you fly.)
Or we could try...
Nothing like American ingenuity.
Hogs Are The Answer
Just a thought.... I was thinking about all this Islamic Jihad
terrorist business.
It seems to me the answer to all our problems is to have the American
farmers produce as many hogs as they possibly can. Millions and millions
of surplus hogs. Every empty plane, train, and ship is called into service
to ship hogs. Boeing starts converting mothballed aircraft into hog
freighters.
Then to answer the call of the radical Islamic factions, we stampede hogs
through their country. Millions of them. Like the herds of bison on the
American plains, these hogs are roaming everywhere. They are eating
everything edible. Fouling everything drinkable. and the beautiful part
of it... they can't eat them, touch them or kill them because hogs are
unholy.
We need to lubricate every American bullet in lard as a lubricant and
anticorrosive and we need to let them know all about it. Let each and every
terrorist know that pork products will enter their body, if killed or
wounded. (They believe they cannot go to heaven if any pork enters their
bodies). Let's take the martyrdom card out of their deck. Let's see how
ambitious their zealots are knowing their bodies and souls are nothing
but rotting corpses being eaten by hogs when they die. No more of this
going to heaven for a cause. We stimulate our economy with pork bellies and
eliminate the Holy War in the process. Its now just a dirty blood and guts
war.
We'll see how happy they are then.
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Crustiest of the OLD COOTS
Airline ticket to Afghanistan $800
High powered rifle with scope $1000
Hotel room with roof access $100
A clean Head shot on that sack of Horse Manure Usuma Bin Laden PRICELESS!