1) Can you recit the Motto and purpose by heart?
A) Yes
B) No
C) I don't recite anything without my attorny present (You may discountinue the rest of the test you are our kinda people!)
D) Maybe so. What was the Motto again?
2) Are you willing to pay DUES?
A)Yes, pease make a "Chashiers check Payable to "we sucker'em"
B) No, I got a spouse, mortagae, car payments, and have you seen my electeric bill nobody turns off the lights around here!
C) You have got to be kidding pay dues to an orginazztion that doesn't supply beer, or anything NEKKED (southern for got no clothes on and up to NO GOOD!)
D) The Question is, are YOU willing to pay dues to have me? Loyalty should be rewarded ya know 
3) Do you remember disco?
A) Yes
B) No, I was under the influance of mind altering substances during disco
C) What did he say? (insert spouses name here)
D)Yes, and I was not influenced by mind altering substances, but it was the catalyst that put me there I think
4) Did You like Disco?
A) Yes, PLEASE step away from the computer and quitly wait for the men in the white suits to come pick you up (we know where you are at)
B) NO
C) I break into hives at the very mention of disco!
D) Yes, and we listen to the BeeGees in our basket weaving class every day too
5)Do you do any exercise other than 12oz or 16oz curls?
A) Yes
B) No
C) I pay people to exercise for me
D) I only weigh 90 lbs, no need for "curlin" LOL
6) What color socks do you where while mowwingthe lawn in your Favorite bermuda shorts nad holey t-shirt?
A) White
B) Black
C) Argiles
D) Don't mow the lawn, and if I did, would not be in naddy bermuda shorts LOL, Yikes!
7) Do you embarrss your children?
A) Yes
B) no
C) We had them for our amussment right?
D) I embarrass myself, is that not enough?
8) Is it impossible for your boss to find his rear-end with both hands?
A) Yes
B) No
C) You bet! Hey wait a minute I am the boss! How many hands did you say could use?
D) Well my boss is 87 years old, if he can find his ass at all, or even has the incentive to do so, my hat is off to im! 
9) If stranded on the couch with-out the TV remote you would?
A) get up and look for it (Sorry you do not have what it takes to be an OLD COOTS)
B) Watch what ever was on TV even if it was "under water basket weaving".
C) Call the kids in from playing outside and make them change the channel.
D) Mmmm, never found myself "stranded" before on the couch, how does that happen by chance?
10) Do you injoy chasing cats, dogs, and small children out of your yard?
A) Yes
B) No
C) I keep a box of smooth river rocks just for that purpose!
D) No, but I like chasing the Pit Bull that keeps breaking it's leash and coming into my yard! With a BEEEGG STICK!!
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