You have a good vocabulary Jerome, and people have already pointed out things I was going to suggest.
But - may I say it? - I was howling with laughter all the way through! I HOPE it meant to be a comedy? It reads like a great send-up of AD&D adventures! You should complete it!
Leave in the 'devouring bottles'! Nice comic picture, that.
You have an ability to create word pictures - we can SEE that scene in the pub!
You need to tidy it up a little, but not too much.
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