Hi everybody and newbodies, just thought i would throw this out, I always like to celebrate individual employee excellence and ingenuity in larger corporations, and this fits the bill. HEY< WOLFGIR < Has anyone seen our resident howler? I have some pictures of glacier park he might like, and our cabin in the Rocky Mtns., also, if any of you 'ol timers' want to see them, just send me an e mail, I finally have them all scanned. enjoy
McDonnell Douglas Warranty
This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas Web site by
an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of
course, does not have a sense of humor and made the web department take it
down immediately. For once, the 'IMPORTANT' note at the end is worth a read,
too.
****************
THANK YOU for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the
warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not
required, but the information will help us to develop new products that
best meet your needs and desires.
*********
Your Title
[_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Miss
[_] Lt.
[_] Gen.
[_] Comrade
[_] Classified
[_] Other
First Name:.....................
Initial: ....
Last Name: ...................
Password: `(max. 8 char) ``..
Code Name:......................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ............
Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon [
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified
Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): .... /.... /...
Serial Number: .................
Please indicate where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalogue / showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified
Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you
have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one
Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to
purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
Please indicate the location(s)where this product will be used:
[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Iraq
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq
Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to purchase
in the near future:
[_] Color TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM / Scud missile
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon
How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Indicate all that
apply
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal
[_] Just peculiar
How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's checks
[_] Letter of Marque
Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student
[_] Classified
To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the interests
and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular
basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / misinformation
[_] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
[_] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers
will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you
better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and
special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and
mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be
registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to: McDonnell
DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department Military, Aerospace Division
IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s)
named above and may contain information that is confidential, privileged,
or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of
humor, or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended
recipient, any dissemination, distribution, or copying of this e-mail is not
authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating
social faux pas. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email,
although the poodle next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you.
------------------
Unstinting Gaurdian of Children
Defender of Those Unable To
