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One day, God was touring Heaven and noticed that the Pearly Gates were terribly scratched and worn. So he asked St. Peter, "What's happened to the Gates?" St. Peter replied, "It's from all the sinners who struggle and grab on when they're told they're going to be cast into the bottomless pit." God said, "If this is the work of sinners, then it's Satan's responsibility. Tell him he has to pay for the repairs!" Back came the reply from Satan, "So sue me!" God read Satan's words, sighed and shrugged. St. Peter said, "What shall we do, Lord?" God replied, "There's nothing we can do. He's got all the lawyers."
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