[Larry_OHF]

If you are a mother, then please do not prejudge me. If you are a father that has different views than I, please do not hold it against me. I would like to see what other fathers out in the world feel about this topic...

My wife is rather angry that I feel the way I do about our daughter. She is 13 months old. She has not yet learned to walk or talk but still crawls around everywhere. With that introduction, let me spell out why my wife is angry with me, then I will explain the reasoning behind it.
There is a Cherokee belief that a newborne is not considered a person until the first time it smiles (or laughs). The person that is responsible for that action is held in high honor by the family.
I sort of have the same mind set. My wife claims that she has loved the baby the same way since birth, and I can understand that, because the child was actually attached to her, physically and mentally, even before birth. I am the one that cut that cord to separate them. However, the bond between mother and child are never separable.
With a dad, it is different. To me, sure, I care for the child, but I see her as more of a burdon to carry. I feed her, dress her, provide roof and protection. I make sacrifices for her. Yet all I get in return is WAAAAHH! Well, that is why I see Marybeth as a burdon. Now, she has been showing some more human responses like looking at me and smiling, or having fun and laughing as she is rocking in a rocking chair. She likes to be near me. This is a start of a love for her that I am developing. It is different from two months ago. My love for her has grown. I told my wife that the day that she can actually speak to me, and say..."Daddy, I love you!" is the day that can consider my love for my child really starting. It all has to do with communication, and sharing. To love our wives, they love us back. Marriage is a shared love. If my wife did not return the love to me, I would not think our marriage was successful. Yet she does, and so our marriage is good. I can actually love my little girl when she can express with her own thoughts, her love for me. And when she does communicate that to me, my love for her will make an incredible leap!. Yet, at this time...I only get WAAAH!
My wife is upset at me for not feeling the way she does...(100% from the start).
I am bothered that it is hard for her to understand that I want love in return to make it mutual.

Now...the question...Am I the only father that feels this way?


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Devoted member of the Ironworks
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