Ironworks Gaming Forum - View Single Post - Cyber Friendships

Sazerac · 07-13-2001, 06:51 PM

Since the Internet is such a relatively new medium, I would be hesitant to say "lifetime" friendship...such evidence must bear the test of time. But, there is little doubt that VERY strong bonds may be formed online as well as in real life.

For one thing, people who are online already have a built-in common point of reference: computers and the Internet. This may or may not be the case with your RL friends, although assuming that one tends to choose friends on the basis of similar tastes and interests, it's likely that one's RL friends will likewise share such an interest. In such a forum as this one, we all have another very strong common point of interest: that of our hobby, gaming.

The disadvantage? Well, the Internet is fairly anonymous, despite a bunch of fear-mongers warning to the contrary. This is a double-edged sword in that it protects our privacy, but also allows us to masquerade as to who we want to be rather than who we really are. Therefore, someone online claiming to be a dead ringer for Pamela Anderson or David Hasselhof should more than likely be viewed with suspicion until they can prove otherwise.

It has been my experience that as far as friendships go, one can generally size people up after about 1 month and be about 85-90 percent accurate in one's assessment, first impressions aside. I have learned to set aside my first impressions and hold off my judgement until I have read enough posts by the person and see what their online behavior is like. If the person is a phony or a creep, they'll generally tip their hand sooner or later, no matter how nice they're trying to act. Likewise, someone who comes online and acts completely obnoxious (and we've had our share of those) in order to get attention at first, will start to mellow out after awhile and start evidencing their true nature.

As far as friendships go, I'd say yes, online friendships are EVERY bit as real as their non-cyber counterparts. However, I would approach any romantic involvement online with a large shaker of salt (forget the grain!) It takes time to get to know anyone, and just like someone can lie to you in the non-cyber world, they can lie to you online, and online it's a lot easier to cover one's tracks.

I should like to think that my online friendships will be for a lifetime. Time will tell whether I am accurate in that assessment.

07-13-2001, 06:51 PM	#5
Sazerac Ironworks Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Monroe, LA Age: 61 Posts: 7,387	Since the Internet is such a relatively new medium, I would be hesitant to say "lifetime" friendship...such evidence must bear the test of time. But, there is little doubt that VERY strong bonds may be formed online as well as in real life. For one thing, people who are online already have a built-in common point of reference: computers and the Internet. This may or may not be the case with your RL friends, although assuming that one tends to choose friends on the basis of similar tastes and interests, it's likely that one's RL friends will likewise share such an interest. In such a forum as this one, we all have another very strong common point of interest: that of our hobby, gaming. The disadvantage? Well, the Internet is fairly anonymous, despite a bunch of fear-mongers warning to the contrary. This is a double-edged sword in that it protects our privacy, but also allows us to masquerade as to who we want to be rather than who we really are. Therefore, someone online claiming to be a dead ringer for Pamela Anderson or David Hasselhof should more than likely be viewed with suspicion until they can prove otherwise. It has been my experience that as far as friendships go, one can generally size people up after about 1 month and be about 85-90 percent accurate in one's assessment, first impressions aside. I have learned to set aside my first impressions and hold off my judgement until I have read enough posts by the person and see what their online behavior is like. If the person is a phony or a creep, they'll generally tip their hand sooner or later, no matter how nice they're trying to act. Likewise, someone who comes online and acts completely obnoxious (and we've had our share of those) in order to get attention at first, will start to mellow out after awhile and start evidencing their true nature. As far as friendships go, I'd say yes, online friendships are EVERY bit as real as their non-cyber counterparts. However, I would approach any romantic involvement online with a large shaker of salt (forget the grain!) It takes time to get to know anyone, and just like someone can lie to you in the non-cyber world, they can lie to you online, and online it's a lot easier to cover one's tracks. I should like to think that my online friendships will be for a lifetime. Time will tell whether I am accurate in that assessment.