Ladies, this test is for you. Pretend you are a man,
perhaps one close to you. Then answer the questions as
though it was he who was answering.
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1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and
you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic
friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated
device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite
supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and
permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire
Earth. You decide to:
A. Present it to the President of the United States.
B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
C. Take it apart.
2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you
miss the most?
A. Innocence.
B. Idealism.
C. Cherry bombs.
3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without
regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
B. When he is the Pope. (Not on the lips.)
C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the
only really sportsman-like way to let him know that, for business
reasons, you have to have him killed.
4. What about hugging another male?
A. If he's your father and at least one of you has a fatal disease.
B. If you're performing the Heimlich maneuver.
C. If you're a professional baseball player and a teammate hits a
home run to win the World Series, you may hug him provided that:
(1) He is legally within the base path,
(2) Both of you are wearing sufficient protection,
(3) You also pound him fraternally with your fist hard
enough to cause fractures.
6. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
A. A cat.
B. A dog.
C. A dog that eats cats.
7. You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive
and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely
Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy-you're watching a
football game; she's reading the papers-when she suddenly, out of the
clear blue sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but,
she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your
relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to
get married; only whether you believe that you have some kind of future
together. What do you say?
A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you
don't want to rush it.
B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you can not
honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting
commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out false
hope.
C. That you cannot believe the Jets called a draw play on third
and seventeen.
8. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you
want to spend the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and the
sorrows, world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?
A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her
name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing
her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.
C. Tell her what?
9. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to
get your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is:
A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
B. "They're in school already?"
C. "There are three of them?"
10. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran socks?
A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed
new holes so large that you're not sure which ones were
originally intended for your legs.
B. When it is down to eight loosely connected sock molecules and
has to be handled with tweezers.
C. It is never okay to throw away veteran socks. A real guy checks
the garbage regularly in case somebody - and we are not naming
names, but this would be his wife - is quietly trying to discard
his underwear, which she is frankly jealous of, because the guy
seems to have a more intimate relationship with it than with her.
11. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for
the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty
years before they finally got to the Promised Land?
A. He was being tested.
B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they
finally got there.
C. He refused to ask for directions.
12. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?
A. Democracy.
B. Religion.
C. The TV Remote control.
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Defender for the Light -
Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!?
Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva
You are what your deep driving desire is; As your deep driving desire is, so is your will; As your will is so is your deed; As your deed is so is your destiny.
The Upanishads