[Sazerac]

Kiwidoc, if you think you got it bad, read THIS:

here is the SCA's "Barbarian Birthday Dirge" in its entirety. Hope this cheers you up!

The Barbarian Birthday Dirge

As sung to the tune of "The Volga Boatmen"

Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [Hunh!]

Now you've aged another year
Now you know that Death is near
Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [Hunh!]

Doom, destruction and despair,
Grief and sorrow fill the air,
Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [Hunh!]

Birthdays come but once a year,
Marking time as Death draws near,
Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [Hunh!]

Now that you're the age you are
Your demise cannot be far
Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [Hunh!]

Black Death has just struck your town
You yourself feel quite run-down
Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [Hunh!]

May your deeds with sword and axe
Equal those with sheep and yaks,
Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [Hunh!]

You must marry very soon,
Baby's due the next full moon,
Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [Hunh!]

Your servants steal, your wife's untrue,
Your children plot to murder you,
Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [Hunh!]

They stole your sword, your gold, your house,
Took your sheep but not your spouse,
Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [Hunh!]

When you've reached this age you know
That the mind is first to go,
Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [Hunh!]

While you eat your birthday stew
We will loot the town for you,
Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [Hunh!]

Indigestion's what you get
From the enemies you 'et,
Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [Hunh!]

So far Death you have bypassed
Don't look back, She's gaining fast
Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [Hunh!]

We brought linen, white as cloud,
Now we'll sit and sew your shroud,
Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [Hunh!]

Just be glad the friends you've got
Haven't found out you-know-what!
Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [Hunh!]

This one lesson you must learn,
First you plunder, then you burn!
Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [ARRrr!!]

Hear the Women Wail and Weep
Kill them all, But Spare the Sheep
Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [Hunh!]

May the children in the Street
Be your barbecueing Meat
Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [Hunh!]

So may the cities in your wake
Burn like candles on your cake!
Happy Birthday. [Hunh!] Happy Birthday. [Hunh!]


[This message has been edited by Sazerac (edited 06-20-2001).]