scary... spooky... i dunno!!!
anyways lemme get to it...
of course ol' board members here now of my ranting toward the woman i love, the prom, what ifs, and the like... but there is one thing i kinda left out or something... and i only thought of it hours ago...
Joelle is rather very enchanting, she aint that pretty- i mean shes not all that if you put it in another perspective, but she had the charisma to do all of those for her. A girlfriend of mine called her, "Dreamy" for guys like us... oh really now? the one i had for my prom date, the one i kept calling, kept texting, oh it was just all too easy... but i was stupid.
i have an inferiority complex before, and it killed me. my chances down the drain, everything bad, could have turned out the other way... i could now be a very popular guy, with high grades, and a great "dreamy" girl to boot! but no...
My Grandmother died on October 20 as i said before... sheesh OCtober 20??? i confessed to her my undying love for her in November... but i am moving too fast.. i will start...
My grandmothers funeral i hated, as i said in Moni's thread, i dont give a sh*t anymore coz shes dead. i mean, so? she kiss me no more, hug no more, and the like, and besides she not *there* anymore... but just now i realized some of the better cases for me...
In the funeral, i decided to call her thanx to my old cuz whos been calling his girl too... so i tried.. it worked. i mean, i call and she was home, i could talk to her for a long time... i mean, i always thought those days were mine.. as if no one really was there to halt our conversations... believe me when i say, you forget the time when i chat wit you coz i am funny and sweet over the phone.
it was sweet...
so thats when it all started so to speak... teehee now moving on, i confessed in around the second week of November. and before xmas, i wanted to call her, but shes either not home or busy, or her mums using the phone... very unfortunate. so i texted her instead... i asked, "Do you want to be my Prom Date?" i also saod i was tyring to call you via landline but... and then she replied using her bros phone... "Geez, I'd thought you'd never ask!" those were the words...
why Do you want and not can you be or something else? theres a slight difference... if you say do you want to be, it means if shes willing to respond, if she REALLY wants you enough to make herself succumb to you for one night... aint i great? ahh.. anyways,
December 25 12:00
i said, "Mahal Kita" meaning I love you(Filipino), and she replied saying, "Mahal din kita" meaning I love you too...
okay, im already narrating a story i hold dear, and no one really knows it this detailed but me, of course. but ill leave it to this...
now, im a focused, concentrated, studying, doing homeworks bastard now, and i seem to have my life ahead of me again. i forget her now, and i still do love her... but if she doesnt want to respond, fine. and ever since the school year started, i feel as if God is so close to me... seriously...
no i wonder... whenever i say God, does my grandmother respond?
in the funeral, we were talking like hell,
in christmas, she said "i love you too"... and i can only think of someone who can really give that gift.. or who knew what i really, REALLY wanted...
My Grandmother... whe she lived, she had no money, so no gifts from her...could this be the ultimate gift... or are there more...???
so now i think my grandmotheris personally involved with my crap now....
BTW... now is the time i think everythings going well and all for me, but i cant help but think now if my grandmother is personally involved too...
YOU THINK?!?!
------------------
You know what happened. We are ONE, WE ARE, ahh.. er... I AM 
'S favorite pet pea-cock...teehee and... Stay ahead of the Avalanche or risk being buried...
[This message has been edited by Bahamut (edited 06-13-2001).]