Another one: The Cockney Lawyer
A poor vicar used to always travel about on foot. One day on his way home, he became extremely tired, hungry, and too weak to travel further. He sought an inn and ordered four boiled eggs. He also had four rolls and a carafe of wine.
After he had finished, he told the innkeeper, "My brother, I am sorry...I haven't a cent on me. I can't pay."
"Okay, no problem," said the tavernkeep. "Some other time when you're passing by, you can pay me."
Later on the vicar became a rector, and was able to receive the alms of the parish. After a few years, he bethought the innkeeper who had foregone his debt.
"I must seek him out and make good my word," said the goodly man.
So he sought out the inn and talked to the innkeeper. "A few years ago, I owed you for four eggs, four rolls, and a carafe of wine."
Now the innkeeper was a greedy soul, and after much deliberation, presented the poor priest with a bill that would have ruined him and his parish. The innkeeper calculated that four hens would have hatched from the four eggs, how many eggs would have been laid in those passed years, and how many new hens, etc.
"I can't possibly pay this!" cried out the priest.
"I'll get a lawyer," said the angry innkeeper, "and we'll go to court."
The poor priest walked homeward, crying in despair. He passed a drunken Cockney in the street, staggering around, who bumped into him.
"Sorry 'ere, guv'nor," the Cockney said. "Oi! Wot ar' y'cryin' for?"
"A fine thing to ask, my son," said the poor priest. "I and my parish are ruined!"
"Ruined? 'Ow?"
"Because I was stupid." The priest recounted the entire story to the Cockney.
"An' that's why yer tremblin' with fear, eh guv'? Never fear, Oi'll be yer lawyer, an' if we win, alls I want is a noight's worth o' Guinness."
So the priest agreed. What else could he do?
The day of the case arrived, and all the lawyers of the court sided with the innkeeper. They said the priest should pay, and maybe even go to prison. But the cockney wasn't there.
The case was almost closed when in he came, dressed in his rags and spitting all over the place. The lawyers and judges laughed like anything to see him.
"And this is your lawyer?" the judge asked.
"The very one."
"How come you're late?" the judge asked the cockney.
"Where was I, then, m'lud? I wasn't 'arf so late for goin' 'ome an boilin' me corn so I could plant it!"
"Are you drunk? Are you mad?" the judge asked. "How can you grow corn if it's boiled?"
"Ay'be, by gum!" said the Cockney. "An' then maybe you'll be tellin' me 'ow bloody 'ens can 'atch from bloody boiled eggs?"
The truest Law is that which follows common sense.
[This message has been edited by Sazerac (edited 06-12-2001).]