COMPUTER TERMS IN VT, NH(or....Maine):
Welcome to New Hampsha!
1. Log on - Make the wood stove hotta.
2. Log off - Don't add no more wood.
3. Monitor - Keep an eye on that wood stove.
4. Download - Getting the firewood off the truck.
5. Floppy disk - What you get from trying to carry
too much firewood.
6. Ram - The thing that split that firewood.
7. Hard drive - Getting home in the winta.
8. Prompt - What the mail ain't during the winta.
9. Window - What to shut when it's cold outside.
10. Screen - What to shut durin' black fly season.
11. Screen saver - Duct tape for the torn window
screen.
12. Byte - What the black flies do.
13. Bit - What the black flies did.
14. Megabyte-What the BIG black flies do durin' trout
season.
15. Chip - Munchies for TV.
16. Microchip - The crumbs in the bag after you've
eaten the chips.
17. Modem - What you did to the weeds growin' in the
driveway.
18. Dot matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife.
19. Lap top - Where the beer spills when you pass
out.
20. Software - The dumb plastic knives and forks they
give you at McDonalds.
21. Hardware - Real stainless steel cutlery.
22. Mouse - What makes the holes in the Cheerios box.
23. Main frame - What holds the house up, hopefully.
24. Enter - The only way to win those magazine ad
sweepstakes.
26. Web site - What's found in the cawnas of high
ceilings.
27. Cursor - Someone who swears.
28. Search engine - What you do when the caa dies.
29. Home page - Map you keep in your back pocket in
case you get lost inthe woods.
30. Upgrade - Steep hill.
31. Server - Waitress.
32. Mail server - Male waitress, damn few in NH.
33. Sound card - One of them technological birthday
cards that plays music when you open it.
34. User - The neighbor who keeps borrowin' stuff.
35. Browser - A problem moose in the gardin or patch.
36. Network - Mendin' holes in the fishnet.
37. Internet - Complicated fishnet repair method.
38. Netscape - What haddock do when you don't do your
network.
39. Online - Good sign there'll be clean clothes this
week.
40. Offline - The clothespins let go and the laundry
fell to the ground.
------------------
Ziroc
Ironworks Webmaster
www.tgeweb.com/ironworks