Quote:
Originally posted by Sazerac:
8. There is no "Good Times" or "It Takes Guts To Say Jesus" or any number of other similar supposed viruses.
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There is no 'good times' but there is 'bad times'
If you receive an e-mail entitled 'Badtimes', delete it immediately. Do not
open it. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will
also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.
It demagnetises the strip on ALL of your credit cards. It re-programs your
PIN access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field
harmonics to scratch any CDs you attempt to play.
It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice
cream melts and your milk curdles. It will then program your phones autodial
to call only 0898 sex line numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your
fish tank. It will drink all your beer. It will leave dirty socks on the
coffee table when you are expecting company.
It will replace your shampoo with engine oil and your engine oil with orange
juice, all the while dating your current girl/boyfriend behind your back and
billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card. It will cause you to run
with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses
an eye.
It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs into
passive tense and incorporate undetectable misspellings which grossly change
the interpretations of key sentences. It will call your boss an asshole and
give you a bad case of the clap.
If 'Badtimes' is opened in Windows 95/98, it will leave the toilet seat up
and your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bath, and it will
molecularly rearrange your aftershave/perfume, causing it to smell like dill
pickles.
It will then install itself into your cistern and lie in wait until someone
important, like your boss or girlfriend, does a serious number 2, then block
the s-bend and cause your toilet to overflow.
In the worst case scenario, it may stick pins in your eyes.