How it all began
An old, bearded shepherd with a crooked staff walked up to a stone pulpit
and said, "And lo, it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham
Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder, heavy of breast and long
of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto
Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far, from town to town, with
thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of
a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between
to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling
you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on
the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the
drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success.
Abraham sold all the goods he had, at the top price, without ever moving
from his tent. But this success did arouse envy.
A man named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham's drum and was
accused of insider trading. And the young man did take to Dot Com's trading
as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic
Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the
deafening sound of drums, that no one noticed that the real riches were
going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up
every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that
would work only if you bought Brother Gates' drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by
others."
And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or, as it came to be
known, "eBay," he said, "we need a name that reflects what we are," and Dot
replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"Whoopee!", said Abraham." No, YAHOO!" said Dot Com.. .and that is how it
all began. -----------It wasn't Al Gore after all.
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"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
-General George Patton (1885-1945)
