Quote:
Originally posted by Wah:
B) Is there a link between this theory, and adolescent?
in other words, is this a considerable factor in teenagers who don't listen to their parents? Is the fault within the teenager, or the parent - who may have suffered this treatment UNKNOWINGLY in the past? Also discuss things such as teenage pregnancies and drug-taking as being "cool" and "socialable".
NOTE: Is this behaviour because the child is "grown-up" and wishes to take on an identity that they are unable to? Is it that they are WILLING to share love with others but they can't give it back - therefore they turn to drugs and other things for this "attention" that they never got?
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Wow Bahamut! Very complex questions! There are no simple answers to these. So many factors to consider. Here are my
very American) opinions, laugh if you will
:
Adolescence is one of the most difficult times in any persons life. Teens are struggling to become adults with all that means, while still wanting the freedom to choose their own friends, activities and life style. Parents feel responsible to keep their teens safe, and to ensure that they learn correct social skills, as well as responsibility for committments. These seemingly conflicting attitudes can create tension in a family. Teens often see their parents as keeping them from growing up, perhaps not trusting them to take care of themselves, as interfering clueless adults. "They just don't GET it!"
Parents struggle with maintaining a good relationship with their teens while still expecting them to adhere to the 'reasonable' limits they have set for them. Communication between them is very important, but not always successful due to many outside factors.
Not all teens have spent time in Day Care settings as young children, and not all teens have spent time in BAD Day Care settings. Those who have may be more inclined to listen to their peers than to their parents or other adults. But Day Care would be only one small influence.
One possible factor that wasn't mentioned is Media - particularly television. Here in the states almost every television program that is aimed at young adolescents and teens portray the adults/parents as stupid, and the kids as being the only ones who know anything. Considering how many hours per day an American teen watches television, (or has watched their entire lives), this has more of an impact than we'd like to believe.
Parents are often busy, especially in families with both parents working outside the home. Teens are often working outside the home after school and on weekends, plus are in other school related activities such as sports or debate club, etc. These factors greatly impact the amount of time families have to communicate well together, and can cause them all to be somewhat unfocused when they talk with each other. Many American families have to set aside 'family time' in order to keep those lines of communication open. Many families just never get around to it. This can create a situation where the teen does not feel connected to their family.
Those teens who have not had or not felt the connection and unconditional love from their parents or guardians can have a tendency to turn to 'at risk' behaviors for the sense of belonging they are lacking. Being "cool" and wanting to belong can be factors in a teen joining a gang, or taking drugs. Teens who are looking to be loved and accepted may turn to sexual relationships to find it, leading to teen pregnancy. The rising rate of teen pregnancy in the U.S. may be a significant sign to us that many childrens need for acceptance and love are not being met by our current life styles.
Wow.. I'd better stop. This turned out to be really LONG! Maybe I should have emailed it to you?
All of the above is just my own opinion gleaned from observation and reading.
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Sometimes I think I
understand everything,
then I regain consciousness.
Happy Member of Fast Fourward.