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Here we go (compiled with help of work colleagues/girlfriend) with the first instalment:
1) A woman is obsessed with neatness. After 3 kids, this becomes survival
2) The man has to be FIRST in the bathroom, or they can forget about getting to work on time
3) Same goes for the telephone
4) Even if the man owns the house, they lose control of the kitchen
5) the man must comment positively on even the slightest change in the woman
6) No more beers in the fridge - sob!
7) Cannot watch a film all the way through anymore - woman keeps flipping between channels
8) Unless it's a romance/family entertainment/music show - then it stays there
9) The bathroom always smells of her favourite scent (the bedroom too)
10) Do not speak unless given permission. She has monopolised this.
11) Explain where you go every time you go out. Give hourly updates as if you were in the SAS
12) The birds are tweeting, the kids outside playing, whining in your left ear
13) There's barely room in the wardrobe for just HER clothes now. The man needs to cut down?
14) The man must now have a bath EVERY day, not just once a week
15) You need to develop defensive mechanisms - lazy arse! If it's a pain to get you off the settee, she'll stop trying eventually!
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