Ah children. I have to admit that I have given up trying to keep any sennse of dignity. The best is potty training.
The other day I was changing my daughter's diaper in a public restroom (one of those without a changing table -- why businesses are so sexist as to only put changing tables in the women's room . . . like guys never change a diaper?) Anyway half-way through the changing process, she decides to pee. Rather than freak out and scream, I said "Good job. You're going pee!" (positive reinforcement, helping her to become aware of what her body is doing) and calmly placed her on the toilet -- all the while maintaining an encouraging positive tone, urine dripping from my fingers. Just doing my job in trying to make potty training a postive rather than a scary exeperience. Of course I would rather have freaked, but then what would my daughter think . . . "I pee and Daddy freaks. Better pee in diapers my whole life and make Daddy happy."
Let's just say that I thought I was a patient person. Then I had kids.
And don't worry about trying to compete with Norm. The man is a god. I almost died of shock the day he used a hand saw.
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Most Subtle Official Straightman of the Laughing Hyenas -- Grammarian Brigade.