BK,
Thank you!
Moiraine,
All gray stories are bad. I believe that what counts are the lessons we learn from from them and what of them that we carry with us throughout the rest of our lives.
I would like to read your story if you ever feel like posting it~no pressure though~if you never want to expose it here, I'll fully understand. If you ever feel like writing it down and sharing it in a more private setting, my e-mail address is here in my profile and you can trust me to keep it as secret as you want it to be.
Row Firecam,
I HAD lost my faith...that accident was a big kick in the pants letting me know I needed it back!
Thank you for your post and just so you don't carry that saddness around with you, let me tell you that:
# 1, Bill Clinton did away with laws that kept poor people from getting emergency medical attention. ER's can no longer turn away people dying and in need the way I and many others have been.
#2 Ten years after the accident, I was minding my own business, going to a friend's house when like with "the hands", I felt just a presence and was "asked" if my friend dying at the hands of the police who had helped him would be justice enough for what he did to me to be forgiven.
I thought it was weird but had to agree, it would be justice, indeed. Well, about three days later, I got a phone call from another friend of ours asking me if I had heard about Billy.
Not having heard anything I said no and proceeded to slip slowly down the wall and onto the floor as he told me that Billy had been drinking and was issued a DUI that would cost him his job as a security guard. He got irate and took his gun down to the local convenience store and shot up their ice machine. Cops were called to the scene and instead of handing over his gun and allowing himself to be arrested, Billy turned his backs on the cops and started walking home. They called after him to stop and he ignored them. Three shots were fired, two of them into his head and one into his knee. All three officers fired on him, only the youngest one shot him in the leg. The other two, veteran police officers and friends of Billy's took him out.
Was it pity for a man who would have lost everything if he had lost his job or contempt for a man who showed them no respect when they had allowed him for years to get away with drunk driving, accidents, and who knows what else? I don't know and I don't want to but I had to think that the presence I felt, unless it was "Death" was Billy himself asking for forgiveness for what he had done. I gave it but the way it was presented to me, I have to feel like I gave it for a price and that doesn't really feel good.
Another lesson learned: Forgiveness should be given freely.
Last week, I contacted the other friend from the accident, the single father guy. He told me that his oldest grand-daughter (who was just an infant when Billy was killed) says that he (Billy) lives with them and she talks to him all the time. She says that he said he is there to watch over her and her mother and to keep them safe. Spooky!
Charlie, take your time, sweety, I will always be here for you!
Love ya!
Love, Hugs & Peace to EVERYONE!
Moni
