Some of my favs:
-I'm busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest.
-I'm sweating like a whore in church.
-You're so ugly that when you were a kid, your parents had to tie a porkchop around your neck to get the dog to play with you!
-You're the disease and I'm the cure. (Sly Stallone from
Cobra.)
-Beauty is only skin deep...but ugly is to the bone.
-ATTENTION: I can only help one person per day...and today's not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
-Life is fleeting. Stupid is eternal.
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Now where did I leave that doughnut?!