Oh, Charlie! How that Monk joke reminds me of one I heard a long, long time ago.
A man joined an abbey to become a monk. Taking a vow of silence, he was only allowed to say two words every 10 years.
At the end of his first ten years, he was allowed to stand up and speak his two words. His words were, "Bed hard."
The abbott nodded and motioned for him to leave.
After being about his duties for another ten years in silence, the monk returned to say his two words. Again he rose, and uttered, "Food bad."
Again, the abbott nodded, and dismissed him.
Finally, after 30 years since he had first come to the abbey, came the third time for him to speak. Walking into the abbotts' chambers, he said his two words, "I quit."
The abbott looked at him. "High time, too," he said. "All you've done since you've gotten here is bitch."
