Quote:
Originally posted by Ramon de Ramon y Ramon:
Bilqis, I am insatiable when it comes to details on people I have elected to like. 
Unamerican, well that is a touchy one, I feel like I have opened the proverbial Pandora's box of generalizations and stereotypes, but anyway: I think that in American daily life culture conversation on a "small talk" level plays a more prominent role than, for instance, in Germany. The positive effect of that is that it makes for a friendlier atmosphere when dealing with strangers or semi-strangers in a public or semi-public setting. On the negative side, conversation like that tends to stay and has to stay more superficial. (Note: By that I do NOT to intend to associate myself with the, unfortunately, popular European myth that human/social interaction in America in general tends to be more superficial.) Anyway, in our case that meant when you ended one of your earlier posts with "how are you ? " I, at first, felt compelled to dismiss that as a kind of "conversational reflex" and not to answer that part at all. So, when I did answer, asked myself and your answer was more open than the prototypical "I'm fine, thanks" I was pleasantly surprised. 
I imagine speaking Arab to each other, when you share the same native language, to be quite exhausting and requiring lots of discipline. During my first months in Barcelona, Tim, the Londoner with whom I shared the flat, and I at one point pledged to speak Spanish to each other to practice as we both still did not know
many Spaniards. We soon resorted back to English, because talking to each other in a language other than our best common one, was very tiresome and felt very strange.
Always an extreme pleasure talking to you !
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Wow! I'm flattered!
That means a lot coming from someone who I respect for his intelligence, wit, and ability to communicate his thoughts as well as you do. And I like to think I'm not the 'typical American'.
DISCLAIMER: No insult, implied or otherwise, to anyone who feels they are a typical American. Sorry if I offended anyone. 
Seriously tho, I agree about small talk. Minnesota is known for being "nice". Minnesota-Nice is actually a phrase used here a lot in both a positive and negative way. Positive being as you said, that people are friendlier in all public situations. One comment many Americans make about some places around the globe is that people/clerks/waiters etc are so rude. What I believe they are noticing tho, is what you just stated about cultural differences in small-talk.
The negative side of "Minnesota-Nice" is that people are so 'nice' that they won't tell you when they're unhappy about something, or voice a contrary opinion to your face, but will go around slamming it behind your back. You 'just don't say anything that might hurt anyone', is the prevailing attitude. Very sad. I made a concious decision at an early age to not be that way. Not that I seek out things to say to hurt people!! LOL Just that I think it's ok when people have opposing opinions. Doesn't make us enemies. We're all entitled to our own views.
I only ask people how they are if I want to know and I'm ready to give a genuine answer back. And if I say I'm fine, then I'm either really fine, or there's just too much to tell someone at the moment. LOL
Sorry I missed this earlier.. hope you catch it!
Thanks again for your kind words.
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Sometimes I think I
understand everything,
then I regain consciousness.
Most Happy Taker of Zeeke
and member of the
Moon's Hope Inn
Ladies Guild
[This message has been edited by bilqis (edited 04-03-2001).]