ok, here is a little story I wrote a long time ago (3 years), its sort of a comedy type thing, but maybe some of you will enjoy it...
I first gained consciousness when I was poured into a separate section, away from the other huge pool of burning metal. In the next few days I began to take shape. When I was finished a wooden handle was stuck and glued into my base, not the most pleasant experience. I was then moved to a storage building and left there until I would be taken away.
It was then in that storage building that like all the other axes, I learned to talk. We were all restricted from having a decent conversation because to talk, someone needed to come in and bang us on something. It was very hard to learn, because you had to make a different sound for every different thing you were banged against. I got used to it though, and became a fluent speaker of the great axe speech, which dated back to the very first time an axe was used, many thousands of years ago. I was a proud axe and felt ready to face anything I was thrown at.
The next few days passed in much the same way, the irregular and hard to follow conversation continuing on for as long as a week if necessary. I heard many tales of axes who had done great things in their lifetime, axes who had felled massive trees in a single swing, truly a wonder of strength and craftsmanship. When my time came to be taken to the next storage shed, I felt very excited, hoping to meet one of these such axes. The storage shed was nothing like I had imagined, I had heard so much about it that I built up this picture in my head, it unfortunately didn’t match up to that picture. It turned out that I had just missed an ancient axe who had been taken away to where ever it was that axes went when their time was up.
There were still a lot of axes in the shed and the conversation never stopped. The first few days were the hardest because I was hung by my handle, blade first. This made it hard to do much; I was constantly lightheaded and totally dizzy. After a few days though I got used to it.
The next time a human came in to test take one of us away, he picked me up and banged me against his hand, it was warm, and I felt that I wanted this human to take me away, I was ready to be bashed and bruised to my limits. The human looked at the other axes for a few more minutes before he returned to me and took me to the front desk. When we (the human and I) arrived at his house, he placed me on a hard wood table. On the table there were some foul smelling objects which were neatly arranged in a wooden bowl. I was amazed to see the human and his companion eating these with apparent delight. Whilst they were eating, I thought of how I would really enjoy some fresh wood.
I wasn’t desperate however, I could go for months without a meal if I had to. Once they had finished eating, I was taken to a pile of dead logs. Yuck, and I was expected to eat them, no thanks. I was eager to impress the human though, so I ate the wood. It wasn’t a very good warm up for what was ahead of me. Once I had reluctantly eaten my way through the out of date pile of wood, I moved along to another pile, which much more satisfactory. The next few days passed in much the same way, I even got used to the off smelling food the humans ate. A few weeks later, things were becoming regular and boring, I got into a routine, chop wood, chop wood, chop wood etc.
It came as a surprise when I was thrown into the back of the truck. I wondered what could be going on. I found out about half an hour later. I smelt the forest from about a mile before we actually entered it. The smell was rich and I could only hope I would get to taste some fresh wood. I didn’t get any fresh wood though, because the humans only wanted dead trees. While in the forest I was working with a lot of other axes and it was good to have a chat with them.
When the humans went off for lunch, I just lay there on the ground, and when they drive off without me I just lay there. When what had happened dawned on me I thought I would cry, but before I could, I saw that I wasn’t the only axe to be left behind. For the next few weeks the other axe and myself were just laying there staring at each other. It rained a bit, and I got wet, though it didn’t ease the hunger that had began to grow from deep in my handle.
I could have lasted for another couple of months before I began to rot, though I still felt the need for sap on my face. It was at the end of these two weeks that some other humans came along and found us. I saw right away that these humans were a lot nicer, because the first they bashed me against a tree, the tree they bashed me against was alive! When I had eaten myself past feeling sick, the humans took myself and my new found friend away with them. I then proceeded to live moderately happy, for ever after...
Well thats it... please come back and read it Relic!
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"Watch your back" -
Sylent
Master Thief of the OHF