Ironworks Gaming Forum - View Single Post - WAAAY Off Topic Poll - All are invited: Best and Worst Pick-up Lines

IdiotRogue · 02-09-2001, 08:34 AM

Hmmm... given the quantity and quality of the majority of suggestions received so far, I am wondering if there is a real lif Adventurer's Mart somewhere. I strongly suspect that I will be needing an AC of about -3,725,560, about 40 "Protection From Outraged Lady/Woman" Scrolls, 100 Potions of Extra Healing and a stout companion to carry my sorry carcass to the nearest temple to be resurrected AND de-castrated... Gee, it will be just like my college/university days... LMAO

Anyhow, my brother suggested I just sit quietly in a bar and lick my eyebrows from time to time...

Back when it was first introduced, a colleague of mine went to bars wearing a laminated badge on his jacket identifying him as a field representative for the manufacturer of Viagra. He claimed a 60% success rate which coincided with the decline in value of the pharmaceutical company's stock price.

Two I had (extremely) limited success with as a callow youth were:

"Do you know the difference between really bad sex and a banana split? No? Would you like to go for ice cream?" Someone had a variation of this above.

"If you got to bed with me, I can guarantee that nothing worse will happen to you the rest of your life."

Another that may have worked but I was too plastered to follow-up on it was the most honest, spontaneous and CORNIEST thing I ever said/did to a complete stranger. Some friends and I were out having a great time and I kept staring at this attractive young lady. My thoroughly intoxicated mind could think of nothing except "Alchohol GOOD! Kick in groin BAD!" Well, through the bar window, I noticed a street vendor. I staggered out and purchased a single white rose, stumbled back in and weaved my way toward her. Even in my inebriated state, I recognized the trepeidation and loathing in her eyes as I approached. I held out the rose (actually, I was probably flogging the air with it) and, to my surprise, she took it (probably in self defense), and said to her, "Such beauty should not go unremarked." I then turned away and tottered back to my friends and we were off. As we left, I looked back and she was staring at me in wonder. I will never know if it was my humble gesture or the fact that I may have had a spicy chicken wing adhered to my cheek (a pox on messy bar food!).

02-09-2001, 08:34 AM	#56
IdiotRogue Manshoon Join Date: March 4, 2001 Location: Texas, USA Posts: 187	Hmmm... given the quantity and quality of the majority of suggestions received so far, I am wondering if there is a real lif Adventurer's Mart somewhere. I strongly suspect that I will be needing an AC of about -3,725,560, about 40 "Protection From Outraged Lady/Woman" Scrolls, 100 Potions of Extra Healing and a stout companion to carry my sorry carcass to the nearest temple to be resurrected AND de-castrated... Gee, it will be just like my college/university days... LMAO Anyhow, my brother suggested I just sit quietly in a bar and lick my eyebrows from time to time... Back when it was first introduced, a colleague of mine went to bars wearing a laminated badge on his jacket identifying him as a field representative for the manufacturer of Viagra. He claimed a 60% success rate which coincided with the decline in value of the pharmaceutical company's stock price. Two I had (extremely) limited success with as a callow youth were: "Do you know the difference between really bad sex and a banana split? No? Would you like to go for ice cream?" Someone had a variation of this above. "If you got to bed with me, I can guarantee that nothing worse will happen to you the rest of your life." Another that may have worked but I was too plastered to follow-up on it was the most honest, spontaneous and CORNIEST thing I ever said/did to a complete stranger. Some friends and I were out having a great time and I kept staring at this attractive young lady. My thoroughly intoxicated mind could think of nothing except "Alchohol GOOD! Kick in groin BAD!" Well, through the bar window, I noticed a street vendor. I staggered out and purchased a single white rose, stumbled back in and weaved my way toward her. Even in my inebriated state, I recognized the trepeidation and loathing in her eyes as I approached. I held out the rose (actually, I was probably flogging the air with it) and, to my surprise, she took it (probably in self defense), and said to her, "Such beauty should not go unremarked." I then turned away and tottered back to my friends and we were off. As we left, I looked back and she was staring at me in wonder. I will never know if it was my humble gesture or the fact that I may have had a spicy chicken wing adhered to my cheek (a pox on messy bar food!).