I think I did that one diplomatically - possibly by intimidation. I also remember the ogres disappearing to go to the temple after agreeing to help. I know that's vague, but maybe it'll help in some way.
Note that the night I did this last, about 7 months ago, my HD froze in the fire area once and for all. Was dead on boot-up. When I replaced it and replayed ToEE, I massacred everything, asked questions later - including Allrem.
I also got a hangup in that really hard fire serpent fight (which you're wisely avoiding) that required a reboot.
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