Ahh, shut up, Glorfindel, you're supposed to be dead. Keep quiet.
I've never heard of "Rord of the Rings," but has anyone read "Bored of the Rings?" The Harvard Lampoon put it out quite a while ago, and dang it's good. Even the map on the flyleaf puts most dumb fantasy novels to shame.
"Aiyeeeee!" screamed Legolam. "A Ballhog!"