CerebroDragon, you will only get the dialogue options about the book and manage to get Finam to accept it if you don't talk to the ashes of his father. There are two ways of getting the info you need: one is to befriend Finam by finding his book, the other is to talk to the ashes, and they are mutually exclusive.
As for the Godsmen, do you have a save-game from before you pissed them off? Usually it's a good idea to find out what you can from someone and ascertain they aren't needed for any vital quests, and THEN piss them off.
Anyway, you need a Godsman to help you find the portal you're looking for...