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Effectiveness in casting spells comes from your skill in the affected spell school. Perhaps your skill isn't up to the expectations: it has happened to me with non magic chars who bought spells for enchantment: their chance of success was exactly zero. The spells you named should be pretty advanced, given the mana requirements, and that explains their difficulty. Advance in those skills.
As to calm, IIRC there is a sign which allows you to cast it as a natural ability: maybe you used that in your previous gaming expereinces, or maybe you used a less effective spell, like calm humanoid or calm creature, which are more speciific, less useful and hence less difficult.
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Never attribute to malice that which can be ascribed to sheer stupidity
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