[mistral4543]

Watching Altair finally doze off, she beamed widely. I'll stay awake as much as I can... I've got to keep watch, after all. It was strange how well motherly instinct and passionate affection blended so well in her feelings towards him. As the air grew quieter without his gentle snores, however, her mood turned pensive and thoughts flew to her father.

How was he feeling at this moment? Would Mama have found him by now and be heartbroken? Staring into the fire, she picked up a stray twig and poked at it absently. Papa...

"Papa! Papa!" Her small feet padding along the corridor, she was busy wiping away her tears in search of doting and comfort. Stumbling against a pair of long flannel-clothed legs, she gazed up, her watery eyes filled with sadness.

"What is it now, Robyn?" Lord Gerald stooped down so that they maintained eye contact. She thought that he was the handsomest father anyone could ever hope for.

"I can't sleep..." and she broke into heartwrenched and helpless sobs again. "I've tried, Papa, I've really tried... but I can't sleep!" This was a tragedy he did not seem to grasp, and she wept, seeing his smirk. "I need enough rest for tomorrow's horseriding competition, Papa! I have to win!" She tugged at his sleeves accusingly. "Don't you care? I need enough sleep... Mama said so."

In answer, Lord Gerald swept her off her feet and carried her back to her warm, cosy bed. Tucking her in, he laid beside her, muttering his soft instructions.

"Don't worry, Robyn. You'll eventually drift off. I'll stay here until you do."

"I won't be able to..." She was as forlorn as he was amused.

"Hush now, my pet. You just shut your eyes and count... one... two... three..."

There was a long pause, then...

"I still can't!"

"Let's start again, Robyn. One... two... three..."

And incredibly, every single time, this magic of his would work. Regardless of how tired he was, somehow he just managed to stay awake longer than her, counting and re-counting until she did not know he had slipped back to his own room...

The tears would not stop flowing out of her eyes, now that she recalled this scene. It was only one instance of his kindness, patience and open-mindedness towards herself.

How had she reciprocated?

By flinging his words of caution into the air. By trampling his love for her, just as the hooves of the horse had trampled the grounds it covered as they tore their way to the forest.
By forcing him to surrender his own safety and health, in attempting to find her.
By hurling him into the hands of the enemy, who had then mutilated him.

Biting her salt-moistened lips and gently easing Altair's head so that it leaned against the wall, she crawled as silently and quickly as she could outside the overhang.

It had stopped raining by now, but the cold air breathed upon her back as if reprimanding her for her act of treason. Giving in to her pain, she knelt down and buried her eyes into her hands, suppressing her cries as much as she could. The repression only served to shake her entire frame and her shoulders heaved up and down uncontrollably.

I must stop. She wiped her eyes again, then the guilt returned. I ought to repent more. What was one to do - be rational or filial? Did being filial entail prolonged sadness, even if the sadness accomplished nothing?

Cuddling to herself, she gazed upon the starless night. You've got to be strong, for both Papa and Altair. Thinking of the latter, she pulled out her pendant again.

Wherever you are, the sun, star and moon will always be there for you even if you don't see it. Just as I will be.

Those had been his words of years ago, and their reunion might just not have happened. It was strange, how life worked. Perhaps there were miracles after all...

Heading back into the overhang, she sat herself next to Altair, but found her eyelids lowering after her earlier outburst.

Before she had counted to ten, she, too, had drifted to sleep.