[Calaethis Dragonsbane]

Detheriel, Isokla and Nivram

Having discussed the matter with Detheriel, and letting him in on the secret he had learnt had taken a great burden off Nivram. And while the absence of alcohol in the coming hours was most likely going to be a painful process of fighting his addiction, in the end something positive might even help. Only time would tell. For the first time in several years, Nivram was actually optimistic, and as an adept at reading the human psyche he knew that optimism and believing in success, were the first steps in kicking an addiction.

Kicking his wandering thoughts back onto course, Nivram glanced through the bushes to where Isokla was standing. After a curt nod at Detheriel, he brushed away a stray branch from in front of him and started purposefully walking towards Isokla, not hiding in the least that he was walking in her direction.

Isokla! Nivram called out while still about two dozen feet from the suspected killer. "Detheriel and me would like to have a word with you." Try as he might, Nivram could not hide a serious tone from his voice.

"Is that so?" Isokla asked, her own tone deceptively mild. "Very well," she allowed adding with a small smile, "Who am I to deny your lordship his word? Call and I shall come." Maybe she intended her lightness to deflect some of the seriousness at hand - especially given the number of corpses near her feet. Without another word, she rose gracefully, dusted herself down and turned to face Nivram, her eyebrow arching as her bluest eyes met his own squarely. "Lead the way." she intoned politely, gesturing him to obey.

As a light breeze started to pick up, Nivram brushed a rogue strand of his blond hair out of his face. He led Isokla to the same spot where he had spoken to Detheriel just a few minutes earlier.

There was no point in drawing a conversation which was probably going to be long to be even longer, so Nivram went straight to the point.

"You killed Zakaria, didn't you?"

Behind Nivram, Detheriel winced at the directness of the question then looked anxiously at Isokla to see what her reaction would be.

"Did I now?" she asked Nivram quietly, studying his features carefully. "And what gives you that thought? Could it be-" her eyes narrowed, "that you did not pass out from your wounds, but something else instead?"
Her tone had turned chill; calm, but chill. She was speaking cautiously, eyeing him like a watchful cat perhaps cornered - with no telling how she might react. "And suppose I did," she asked quietly, "What would you do about it? Is easing a dying man's suffering a sin, Nivram? When only pain and death awaits, is shortening that so wrong? Is it evil?" she asked him quietly, still watching him, aware of Detheriel but her attention fully upon Nivram. "Would you not do the same?"

His heart hammering, Detheriel tucked his thumb into his belt with a subtle movement designed to place his hand next to his knife. Please don't let me have to use this he prayed fervently to whatever Gods were watching.

"If there was no hope to save a dying man, then indeed I would ease his passing. Now don't get me wrong, there were moments in the last few days when I would have liked to see Zakaria dead myself, but doing it while he was unconscious and defenseless, lying on the ground..." Nivram paused, searching for the right word "I see that as a cowardly way of doing it. Especially if there is still a hope for survival, as there clearly was in his case..."

"There was never any hope for him, Nivram." the young woman replied quietly, "It was the bandit who took his life. I eased his passing, yes. I admit that much, but it was his wounds that slew him - not me." Her eyes narrowed, "Now - how would you - a seemingly untrained healer - know whether he had any hope of survival or not? You who passed out from apparently your own wounds after touching him."

Nivram didn't answer the question, instead replying with one of his own.

"You, as a healer with some training, did you make sure that there was no hope as you eased his passage? If you had, you might just have been surprised."

"You think me a snake, a serpent do you?” Her eyes were piercing, striking at him, "You who I bandaged and tended for. You whom I could have slain a thousand times over. You are not as innocent nor as pure as you would have me believe, Nivram. We all have secrets,” her tone dropped to barely a whisper at the last, and rose to a low, but cutting edge, "If I wished you dead, you would be. I might have slipped more than just herbs into the food I prepared – the food you ate from my hand. You one and all may even now be envenomed with a cure only I know. I could have slain you, slipped a deadly variant of the sedative I gave Zak while you lay comatose within my arms. Consider this – and consider this well, Nivram. I have not struck at you, nor questioned you on your past. I have not interrogated you, no, neither threatened you or any one in this party. I have done nothing but made every effort to heal both you and the poor dead fool that so heroically threw his life away. Never doubt that for a moment.”

It was quite clear from her tone that his words had stung her and she was offended; her professional pride wounded, but there seemed to be something else; some underlying reason that Nivram had not yet uncovered. Whatever it was, this ‘dark secret’, she was not saying – and from her words, she was warning him not to pry, lest she do the same.

Verbal abuse and harsh words were something Nivram was used to having more than his fair share thrown at him. One thing gnawed at him though. Isokla had gotten into a heated mood much too fast.

"Far be it from my current wishes to have you as an enemy Isokla. I greatly appreciate what you have done for this part, and you have my deepest gratitude for healing my wounds. As you said I am not innocent myself, but you were wrong in saying that I did not know this. I am fully aware of my own faults, and try hiding them whenever possible. There are other parts of my personality, or my skills that I also hide."

"I am pretty certain that in the long run our group is better off with Zakaria gone, as given the hostile atmosphere which had sometimes surrounded him, it might have come to blows in the future. What I do not like about the situation though is the way he had left us." Nivram mulled over Isokla's words with which she admitted doing the deed. "I'd have preferred that once he had recovered he left us of his own free will, or our group's will, still holding his life."
Nivram paused thinking back to the situation just a few minutes ago. He had knelt down next to Zakaria, healed him and then passed out. Or hadn't he? Doubt was slowly seeping into his thoughts, but he wasn't letting it gain the upper hand yet.

"Isokla, both of us have our secrets, and I'm sure you aren't ready to reveal them to me, as I'm not yet fully ready to reveal all of mine to you. I'd just like you to believe me when I say that Zakaria was going to recover from his wounds." Without proof, Nivram doubted that Isokla would readily accept what he was saying, but still she would probably come to her own conclusions about his words. "I am not one to level any accusations at you, Isokla, it's just that from your actions in the last few days, it had seemed strange for you to be the one to end Zakaria's life."

“I am not accountable to you, Nivram. Do you think I like losing patients?” she snapped, her eyes flaring suddenly, “Do you think I enjoy seeing any I’ve tried to heal slip away? Or worse, being forced to ease their passing? Do you think I enjoy seeing life taken, or taking it?” She half turned away, sudden tears in her eyes, clearly more upset than she was willing to show or give credit to. “If you think I enjoy this, you are a fool.” Isokla whispered quietly. “What I did, I had to do – what any healer would have done. You have no right to judge me. Next time, that could be you lying there. Who will you turn to then?”

"I do not doubt your healing abilities Isokla neither your will to do good," Nivram said slowly while thinking over Isokla's words. Was she truly upset or was it a ploy? Even with his expertise at reading people's reactions, he could not decide. Better play it safe then.

"I'm sorry that it seemed to you as though I was judging you. Let me state that I was not judging you Isokla. I was simply seeking clarification to acts which had seemed strange to me at the time."

Nivram paused, glancing at Detheriel who had been an outsider to the conversation so far.

"I know you'd prefer to remain neutral in this matter, therefore I do not ask you to choose sides, but I'd be interested in what your take on the situation is." he said to the brown-haired man.

"I...uh" he began, before being abruptly cut off by Isokla.

“Do not drag him into this, Nivram. You will decide what you will within yourself; choose what you believe. If you believe I murdered him in cold blood, then so be it. If you believe I eased his passing, that he had no hope of survival, then so be it. But you will decide – it might not be today or even tomorrow but you will. You can choose whom to believe, but a healer’s duty is to the living – and to preserving life. Ask yourself if you would trust an assassin within the group – if you believe me to be one, then strike me down now just as you believe I did with Zakaria.

“If you believe me an assassin, then take my life.”

She locked her eyes on his, calmly waiting - the calm before the storm, perhaps? Or simply the eye of the storm?

Detheriel let out a small rumble of discontent at the direction this was taking. "That's enough, Isokla" he said gently, laying a hand upon her shoulder. "We will not fall upon each other like a pack of wolves, I will not permit it." He was well aware he had little authority to command anyone, but was genuinely worried at how Isokla was being affected by this - her outbursts and posturing were utterly alien to the Isokla he thought he knew.

If Nivram had heard what Detheriel had just said, he didn't show any sign of it

"The world isn't only black and white Isokla. There aren't only those two possibilities." If Nivram hated something it was being forced to make a choice between choices he did not like. "I believe you did what you thought was right and the most humane at the time, but that your decision was still wrong." If Nivram had wanted Detheriel's opinion just a few moments ago, he did not seem to pay heed to him now. "As to whom I can trust...you ask a very pertinent question. Given how much we know each other in the group can anyone be trusted? Was Zakaria to be trusted? Is Detheriel to be trusted? Are you to be trusted? And indeed am I to be trusted? Should we place our trust into people we barely even know? Or should we start trying to get to know each other better. Just now, I tried to get to know you better Isokla, and I have learnt quite a few things about you, but I must admit, there still isn't a single person in the group I could fully put my trust in, and that even includes me."

Isokla lowered her eyes, “I thought you trusted me, Nivram." she answered quietly, “Maybe you are right, I am willing to admit that, but what is done is done." she sounded calmer now, but whether she truly was, was anyone's guess. “If you would visit your 'justice' on me, do so now. Otherwise, let this matter drop. I have gone from preparing breakfast for you all to seeing a multiple of people cut down, and having to ease our own companion's life through to death's door because the fool chose to throw his life away - only to have you - who I thought I could call a 'friend' - accuse me of being a murderer."

She sighed quietly and looked up at Detheriel gratefully, “Thank you, but I... this is unnecessary. I can handle this on my own. I don't need you to step in every time someone disagrees with me." she smiled faintly, “Even if I appreciate it."

Turning back to Nivram, she asked quietly, “So do you or do you not have healing skills you have denied informing us of."
The young woman did not shrug Detheriel's hand off her shoulder, but seemed to almost curl up into it, accepting it with a quiet grace, taking it as offered.

"I have no right to visit justice upon anyone, nor do I have the faintest wish to do so. And as I had already stated, I did not mean to accuse you, I was simply seeking a clarification. If my words were taken in a way I did not intend them to be taken, then I offer my most sincere apologies."

"I did trust you Isokla, and I think I still do. I think." Nivram mulled over the meaning of the word in this context. "It's just that I saw a side of you, a side which isn't necessarily bad, but a side that I hadn't known of before, and I had to make a reassessment of what was between us, be it friendship or trust."

Nivram paused, thinking over what he had just said. He hadn't reached a conclusion yet himself, but he wasn't going to tell Isokla that.

"As to me having hidden healing skills I have not revealed to the party...yes, I do have them, but I do not feel the need of flaunting such magical abilities as the late Zakarie liked to do with his. I use them if needed, but if they aren't needed then I'll never speak of them. And that is probably my mistake."

"Had you known that I had them you might have approached the Zakaria situation differently."

"Therefore in a way, I myself am responsible for his death."

It was the closest Nivram had ever come to admitting blame for something.

Isokla’s eyes narrowed coldly, “You accuse me of murdering him, yet you yourself possess healing skills and never once lifted a finger to aid any? How many have fallen when you could have helped – how many could you have saved, yet now lie dead due to your secret? Was your precious secret worth so much blood?” She demanded in an infinitely soft tone, “What of Narar, Ansolon & Kagarioni? They fell! Had we been able to dig them free, we may have been able to save them!

The young woman sighed, “Forgive me, I do not mean to judge you. It is just... a lot to take in at once. It has been a... trying day." Whether she believed Nivram or not was open to question.

"There were none to aid before today. After our makeshift group assembled at the bridge you were wounded, but you regained full health astonishingly fast, and I think both of us know that there was no chance that we could get through to those three, into the burning ruins." Nivram did not mention that Isokla also being a healer she could have called on them to dig them free. "And today. Today I did use my powers the best I could, until there was energy left to me, which after holding off the attackers, until the rest of you arrived, was not much. I had hoped that I could save Zakaria..." Nivram left the end of the sentence unspoken as it had been what the rest of their conversation had focused on.

“Maybe.. but I still regret their deaths." She sighed and turned away, “Please.. if you will excuse me… I should like to be alone.”

With that, the young woman turned away, her white dress flowing gracefully as she began to walk, yet her step was dejected as it was heavy; still graceful with her seemingly inborn talent, but the conversation had weighed heavily on her. There was still tears shining in her eyes when she left.

[ 08-01-2006, 06:53 PM: Message edited by: Calaethis Dragonsbane ]