[Tancred]

In the street, one man and his sword.

***

"There is absolutely no way I am going to try and be friends with that woman."
"Oh come on!" moans Karnas. "Live and let live, man!"
"Tell HER that, not me!"
"I daresay she'd see the light if you apologised properly."
"Rubbish. You heard what she's done!"
"There's no proof it was her."
"That's what's so WORRYING!" Tancred yells, oblivious to the strange looks he is getting from traders in the main street. "If she managed to get away with the last three, what hope have I got?"
"She didn't seem like such a bad girl earlier..."
"Did you have cotton wool stuffed in your hilt?!?"
Karnas thinks for a bit. "There's always the Secret Weapon..."
"You what?"
"Something no woman could possibly resist. The old Cavalier charm."
"Don't be ridiculous."
"Seriously." Karnas fights to keep any edge of hilarity out of his voice... and fails. "No fair maiden could possibly fail to be swayed by your ragged - er - RUGGED good looks."
"Shut up."
"No, hear me out! Say, one of the banquets... during a brief lull... you just walk up to her... tap her on the shoulder, and when she turns round take her in your arms and -"
"Get a dagger in the ribs. For crying out loud, Karnas!"
"Have some self-respect, man! Just grab her and kiss her! Once her initial -struggles - are over... well, I daresay everything will be forgiven between the pair of you by morning."
"Karnas, this is 100% out of the question!"
"Just think of her... those ruby lips.. that flowing hair -"
"Have you gone MAD!?! SHUT UP!"
"Huh... well, fine, be like that. Virgin."

***

"I know what it is."
Tancred grits his teeth. Only 1000 yards or so the the inn. "I'm not listening, mage."
"I've got you all figured out, now. I see where you're coming from."
"Really."
"You're sweet on the blonde elf ditz girl, aren't you?"
"... no!"
"HAH! You hesitated!"
"Only because I'm not used to dealing with evil mages THIS insane, Karnas."
"I know you. You've always had this thing for delicate, vulnerable blondes!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about, la la la..."
"And, oh, is it any coincidence we're going to an inn?"
"What? HUH?"
"Oh, I can see it coming now! It's the old 'someone wants me dead - can I stay with you tonight' routine, isn't it? You sly fox!"
"... I have absolutely no intention -"
"Liar!"
"SHUT UP!"
"Come on! You can admit it to me! I'm your friend, boy!"
"I need your advice like I need a crossbow bolt through the head."
"I remember it all now... you leaping to rescue her from drowning back during the Dragon Quests... You've had your eye on her from day one, haven't you?"
"I categorically state that there is no truth in that at all..."
"I wonder... and I wonder if she harbours any feelings for you...?"
Tancred is, at least for a moment, lost for words. Karnas smells blood and moves in.
"Longing for your strong, manly embrace to hold her through those cold nights spent sleeping by a fire in the night air... playing silly with other Paladins to try and get your attention - remember? Weeping for you in secret when you disapeared... hanging around and staying by you even when the rest of the Bar Folk go their own ways -"
"SHUT UP! No more, Karnas!"
"I'll bet good money she wants you, man!"
100 yards. Not far now. "Even so."
"EVEN SO? Are you just going to let her pine away for you? No real man could do such a thing, surely? A hot chick like that? Sure, she's a bit... blonde, but even a slap across the face might be worth the effort..."
"You're a good sword... but a lousy matchmaker."

***

Walking up the inn stairs, still deep in 'debate'...

"Anyway, I know what this is about."
"I'm just trying to help -"
"Don't try that 'innocent little sword' routine either. You're just trying to get around me so I'll feel indebted and then I'll help you with your problem. Well, it's not going to work."
Karnas sighs. "You don't have to go near her! You could STEAL her sword! You could get someone else to do it! Anything!"
Tancred counters testily. "Mmm, nice plan - except for one little problem?"
Karnas pauses. "Which is?"
"This little thing called the CODE OF CHIVALRY, you numbpommeled - er..." The irate paladin cools as he realises where he is.
"Um... sorry," he says to the bard and dragon watching him. "I... I'll come in again."

ooc: And they wonder why Tancred thinks of himself as being under a curse...