1) The second number is a sort-of percentage above straight 18, as starting characters simply can't have a starting score in strength better than that.
2) As a multi-class character, you get the first stronghold you're both eligible for and go after.
3) I wouldn't worry about that patch. If you'd loaded it, you would have had problems gaining experience/levels when ToB was loaded.
4) When you move to ToB, you can continue to run your current party--as I recall, the cap moves to 50th level. Your party also gains new spells and/or skills, depending upon profession. There is a new NPC party member to consider, as well. And last but definitely least, yes, romances continue.
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