ooc: OK ya'll, I'm busy as anything and I was sick yesterday, so please excuse my absence! Ummm... I got 3 A's and 2 B's on my report card, so YAY! Ya'll are stuck with me! Erm... I'll be posting big probably Saturday. Maybe Friday, but I have plans to go to bed at like 8:00 that evening, so... Heh. Ummmmm... Don't expect to see me again tonight because I have a bit of make-up work to do, I want to finish reading Fellowship Of The Ring within 3 days, I want to finish writing my story (which is probably about half-way done and around 13 pages), AND the Survivor finale is on tonight.
Yes, Spree watches reality shows. ~Ponders~ OK... I suppose ya'll at least deserve that... Here ya go!
Spree Goes Survivor
Spree glared at Larry as she walked past, hauling heavy buckets of water. She put the containers on the fire to boil. Neb unfortunately had found the consequences of not boiling your water the hard way. Everybody learned from his mistake as he sat on the edge of the camp puking his guts out. Mistral smiled from the edge of the acacia baricade, polishing her immunity necklace. Kaz was meddling with the carcass of a wild boar Spree and Sephi had chased and killed the day before. (Spree armed with a spear, Sephi with a spork. Inevitably, Sephi made the kill.) Spree grudgingly poked the fire Sephi was gazing into with a stick. Sephi looked at Spree with a weary smile, "Something wrong Spree?" She growled loudly enough so that the entire camp could hear, "I don't see why Deiter had to get voted off the island!" Sephi shrugged at his friend, "Ever hear the saying nice guys finish last?" Mistral joined the conversation, winking at Spree, "Unfortunately there are no exceptions for cute guys." Larry belched loudly, much to the distaste of all around the fire. Spree looked cautiously to the bright sun, then hunched next to the fire. "Let's vote Larry off!" Kaz turned around with a skeptical smirk, "Come on now Spree! What did Larry ever do!" Spree pointed a finger at Kaz, "That's exactly it! Ask yourselves, what DOES he do?" Mistral smacked her lips, looking over at Larry, "He works on his tan." Spree urged on, "Yes! And what else does he do Kaz?" She growled, looking at the handsome steaks she'd cut from the pig, "He eats like a horse." Spree nodded, a maniacal look crossing her face, "And what else does he do SEPHI?" Sephi coughed, focusing his gaze on the ground, "I'd rather not think about what else he does!" Spree glared, "Come on then!" Sephi averted his eyes with a squeak, "Ask Neb, he's already puking!" Neb whispered weakly from his corner, delerious, "There are tales... Horrid tales..." Neb starts to go into a flashback. Mistral cuts in, "All right all right! Enough melodramatics! He hops around the bush naked! ALL RIGHT?!" Sephi's eyes grow wide and he leans over to gag. Kaz pats him on the back comfortingly, "There there, we've all suffered it." Spree rose up, "See now?! We all toil in the sun well he... He..." She starts gagging alongside Sephi in recolection. Mistral finally gave in grimly, "Fine, we'll vote him off, but that means we've got to keep the immunity necklace away from him in the next challenge!"
The next challenge...
Jeff walks up to Mistral. "I'm afraid I'll need to take that necklace from you Mistral." She nodded bitterly, handing the necklace to the host. Each of the Survivors stood ready for the next challenge. Mistral was in deep concentration, twiddling her thumbs. Kaz was trying to relax, biting her nails. Spree was doing soccer stretches, staring cryptically at the ground. Sephi was psyching himself up, hopping from foot to foot and jogging in place. Larry was scratching a bug bite on his... Um... On second thought it isn't really important where the bite is, right? Anyway, he was apparently unmoved by the importance of the challenge. Neb wasn't standing at all, so maybe I should revise this... Neb was curled up at a vomit-filled bucket, occasionally squinting up at the sun with an accusing finger, "Its stealed my birthday present! Its cheated! Took my precious! Agh! Gollum gollum gollum!" Jeff finally stood before the competitors. "Survivors! Today's challenge will test you both physically and mentally! We're having a burping contest!" Sephi stepped up with an angry growl, "What kind of lame ass competition is that?!" He started at the host, but was pulled back by a pair of security gaurds in loin-cloths. (One of the security gaurds was the host of The Mole, who had to resort to a minimum-wage job after the ratings of The Mole 2 plunged below sea-level) Jeff smiled and waved bye-bye to Sephi, "You are the weakest link, goo'bye!" The remaining survivors looked at Jeff warily, not wanting to share Sephi's fate. Jeff presented each contestant with a cup of carbonated soda. He smiled as he walked past Mistral, then stood before them all again. "The rules are simple, knock eachother over with your belches! The last one standing wins immunity!" The burping commenced and Kaz was instantly knocked over by Mistral. Kaz sputtered as she sat on the ground, "Gawd Mistral, what did you eat?!" Spree stood dumbfounded as Mistral took Larry on. In was a gruesome and close fight, but Mistral lay on the ground. She threw her hand upward to Spree, "Killing Spree! Avenge me, my f-ri-en-d..." Her head drifted to the side, she was unconcious if not dead. Spree looked at Larry in horror. "You murdered her!" Jeff stepped between the two, holding out his hands. He looked at Spree, "Survivor can not be held responsible for any injury or death incurred to any players. What Larry did was perfectly legal." He looked to each of the players, pulling his hands away and stepping back. "Survivors ready? GO!" Spree looked on from the corner of her eye as the gaurds hauled Kaz to the hospital tent. They were hauling Neb away too. He was crying out in agony, "MY PRECIOUS!"
The Final Showdown...
Larry burped and Spree staggered backward. She clenched her throat in her hands. "Everything... White..." She chugged her soft drink, remembering her days back at the Froggy Bottom Pub when her sixth grade friends would cheer her to drink more and more root beer. Ah those glorious days! She would drink the whole pitcher and then eat the styrofoam cup... She concentrated on the soda. She smirked at Larry. His eyes widened in shock, how could anyone survive THAT?! He spit venomous words and looks to her, "I don't believe it!" Spree recalled her childhood days and her fathers last words before she'd auditioned for the show.
"Always remember your Matrix quotes!" She looked at Larry with an evil twinkle in her eye, "Believe it or not you piece of shit you're still gonna burn!" She then let an ear-splitting, ground shaking, pop-tart breaking belch. Larry fell to the ground dead. Jeff took Spree's arm and raised it high, "Congratulations Spree! You are the ulitimate survivor!" The freaky theme song played in the background as she whooped out her victory.
The aftermath...
Mistral was OK after some extreme hospitalization. Kaz was only a bit nausious, and was fine in a day. Neb was seriously re-hydrated and was walking around within a few weeks. (Unfortunately they couldn't get him to stop raving about 'his precious'.) Sephi saw a psychiatrist to talk about his traumatization. He ended up going to a sort of 'generally anonymous assembly' in which he stood up and said, "Hello, my name is Sephi, and I saw Larry naked." Everybody in the convention kneeled over and threw up, feeling great pity for him. Spree bought herself a pony and a life, then began squandering the remaining money on searches for a certain Mr. Leafblade.
Anybody else notice that Larry's always the bad guy in my scenarios? ~chuckles~
That's just 'cuz I know I can pick on ya Larry.