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I also have DSL and a LAN at my house. If I am understanding your problem correctly, it would seem that you do not have a static IP address for each of your machines at your house. That being the case, your friend out of state can connect (via through the router and hub) to only 1 machine at your house at a time. This is because all 3 of you at your house share 1 IP address. You each need to have your own static IP to all be able to play with each other. I know this is dissapointing, but usally a static IP costs about an extra $15 dollars per address in my area. Check with your ISP provider.
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Best to remain silent and thought a fool, then to open ones mouth and remove all doubt
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