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Jaheira starts out a little lippy in BG2 (she is dealing with her husband's death, after all). However, if you pursue the romance with her, or even if you just play along, she softens up considerably.
Anomen, on the other hand, DIRECTLY questions your authority, by implying that he can run the group better than you can. And frankly, I don't care if he becomes a saint, he still is very arrogant in his dealings with the party after that point. I guess this goes along with his 12 Wisdom (for a cleric, much less).
All in all, Jaheira tends to be a better investment, even if you never pursue a romance with her (however, hers has a lot of quests and fighting, so hardest of all of them to pursue, but worth it due to the amount of experience you get). Plus, as a druid, she gets access to some spells that clerics do not (elemental summoning, conjure animals) and gets the higher level spells at a lower level. She cannot advance past 14th level as a druid, but still accumulates experience. This allows her to advance quickly once she gets into the Throne of Bhaal expansion. I have played with both, and Anomen is almost universally hated for a reason! Between his attitude and his low wisdom, who would want him (no wonder his dad kicked him out of his house).
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