Im not sure, but I think Jaheira doesnt romance all races. As for multiple romances, you can have the starting for all 3 options, but at certain points you have to ditch one of the gals until you're stuck with the one you want.
As for when J's romance starts, as long she keeps talking to you, you are fine. She doesnt refer to romance until very late in the game (like she says that skies are a bit grey or that she was in a place similar to this one at the start and middle of the romance. The actual "romance talk" starts when Dermin shows up the first time I'd say.
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