I have managed to avoid being attacked by Harpers other than the first time you return to the Harper Hold and are quizzed about your fave colour etc.
I think this is due to alignment (or possibly reputation) rather than dialogue choices. When I played as lawful good with rep of 20, whenever we were approached by angry Harpers, Jaheira would convince them that my character was a force for good, and they didn't attack, but accepted that we had done many good deeds. However, when I played as Chaotic Neutral with a slightly lower rep (although not below average) Jaheira was unable to convince them (they would say that I was no angel) and a battle ensued. I tried every dialogue choice to get out of it, because I was at a low level at the time, and it was therefore a hard battle.
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